Ribbons
by citystrokes
Summary: Yuri retired from show jumpers after a high-anxiety career cost her a horse. Victoria recognized her the moment her video went viral. Yakov just hopes she remembered her horse's coggins. Genderbent, Equestrian AU Cross-posted on AO3 as wunkind
1. Chapter 1

Yuuri watched the warmup ring in awe. Victoria Nikiforov didn't seem to be listening to her trainer, a gruff old man in the middle of the ring, while she did her warmups. Instead, she seemed to be focused entirely on her pony, eyes running over his withers and neck as if trying to memorize the way the muscles moved.

Yuuri was jealous for a moment, not only did Victoria seem a total natural but she had short hair. It looked boyish on her angled and sharply defined face but it meant she didn't have to tuck any of her silvery, platinum hair in a hairnet under her helmet.

A fasten seatbelt sign ringing startled Yuuri awake. She'd almost landed in Japan, home. She hadn't been back, not really for extended periods, for four years. This last year, though, was easily the worst. She consciously realized that the dream she had was related to her last run-in with Victoria. The older woman had grown her hair out now, it cascaded down her back in that same platinum colour that was so startlingly different from Yuuri's own dark brown-black. The Russian had called out to her, asking if she wanted a picture despite being so evidently in the middle of a celebration with the other riders from her stables.

Victoria had the right to celebrate, she'd placed the top at the finals this year again. She had placed in WEG and the last Olympics easy. Yuuri was experiencing the total opposite.

Her last show was a train wreck. The horse she had been riding, a glorified school horse offered by her school, went mysteriously lame and she had to pull out. As it were, she was already behind in the season anyhow.

So she came home. If Dima, her partner for her last four seasons, was retiring then Yuuri might as well, too. She knew her family didn't have the money to buy and after two seasons like the ones she'd had (though she qualified for the big events fine) meant few sponsors willing to put so much money into her. Her trainer was struggling to find her a mount.

Best to end it.

"I'm so sorry about Vicchan." The first words out of her mother's mouth when she hugged her at the airport. It was true, she had lost her childhood pony in the past year. Two years ago, he'd foundered and been brought into retirement in-barn rather than in a pasture. He'd had to be put down after further health issues persisted. Yuri couldn't say she hadn't been waiting for the day she received the phone call at some odd hour that Vicchan couldn't get back up, but it was still a shock like ice water after a hot spring.

"The triplets were with him. They loved him so much, too." She could remember, her childhood friend had been the one to call her. When it was apparent that Vicchan wasn't going to be ok that time. She wasn't on WiFi, couldn't watch it happen, but listened while choking back tears while the girls and Yuuko talked her through what was happening.

 _Should have been here._

It was irrational, a 16 hour flight couldn't be made in the time it took a vet to get to the stables she'd grown up at.

"I know," Yuri nodded, giving her mother a small smile. "Walk, Trot, and Canter made sure to send me all their pictures of him." They were nicknames, but not much better than their real names. Yuri had threatened Yuuko when she'd said she wanted to name her children Capriole, Courbette, and Levade. There was no reason to name them such outlandish terms. In the end, it was fine. Most of the stables had started to affectionately refer to them as Walk, Trot, and Canter but she was under the impression the outside world called them things like "Carrie," "Bette" or "Betty", and "Levy." They weren't traditional, they surely weren't Japanese, but they were better than what they'd been given at birth.

"Such sweethearts, you should pay them a visit soon. They're huge fans."

Yuri somehow doubted that.

The rest of the ride home was silent, eerily silent. She didn't want to talk about why she'd left so soon after graduation or why her last season had been a flop of magnificent proportions. Her mother didn't push it, either, just let her stare out the window as she decided what to tell Yuuko when she saw her.

"Yuri!" Oh…she'd forgotten her sister was still living at home. Sometimes the way her older sibling talked, she just assumed she was gone. The crap she got into, it was a surprise she was allowed home. "Has mom already told you that you look sick? What happened to your face? You're so—" Her eyes widened and Yuri groaned. "You need to at least work out. I know you were out most of the season, but seriously? Take those clothes off—OFF! Christ, you look like a chicken."

That's what every girl wants to hear, no doubt.

"Don't misunderstand me, thin is in, but your legs…you don't have any muscle left at all, do you?"

"It's not like I didn't put any effort in, Mari." She grumbled, shrugging her coat back on now that her sister was done ripping her clothes off. "I go running sometimes. It's just not the same muscle—"

"They have _machines_ for that, Yuri! We need to get you fed and whipped back into shape. You look like you couldn't even sit on a horse, let alone make it go anywhere."

"I'm just going to drop my stuff off and go for a run…" Yuri hugged her father briefly and grabbed her suitcase. Hopefully, the rest of her things would arrive in a few days time.

She heard whispering behind her and knew her mother was scolding Mari from the tone of voice. Things like "you've made her self conscious" and "she was always tiny, why did you bring it up?" She heeded it not.

The room was as she'd left it. Ribbons hanging everywhere interspersed with toy horses and bits of tack that meant something at some point in time. She noticed with watery eyes that a little gift bag had been placed on her mattress, dead center next to an old plaque that had certainly seen better days.

"Fumito," Her voice cracked a little. Vicchan's registered name wasn't remotely related to the name she'd called him by. Her thumb rubbed at the bits that needed polishing and he tore her eyes away to search the bag with her other hand. His halter came first. It had been polished, certainly. The nameplate looked brand new, but she knew it was the same one she'd paid for herself before she left. "Fumito - 3rd Level Champion 2009." When she was still registered with the JEF.

She put her hand back in and retrieved a bracelet, brand new and leather. She'd seen them more frequently in the United States. It's plate mirrored the one on the old leather halter she'd just set down and a braided bracelet of hair that was familiar to the touch.

Her eyes watered.

"Where are you going?"

"Run." She tried to keep her voice steady while she fled through the door, back of her wrist at her nose because she was an ugly crier and she knew it.

It only took thirty minutes, but she listened to her footsteps echo in along the stable aisle when she entered. It was dark, no one keeps lights on at eight because she suspected feeding was long over.

"Yuri?" A shocked gasp. "Yuri! Oh my God!" There she was. Yuri, eyes still red but tears long gone, laughed a little at the sudden weight of Yuuko crushing her to the ground. "I knew you'd come straight here! When did you land? How are you? How is your elbow? What about Dima? Is he retired? Still doing ok? Why don't you buy him and fly him back, if we can use him for lessons even his board will be so much less expensive!"

Yuuko was lucky, she had inherited the property from her parents. Currently she was owner and manager, though Yuri had a sneaking suspicion her husband was in charge of finances.

"Did you get the bracelet?"

"It was beautiful," Yuri nodded her head. "Thank you."

"The girls thought of it, and I know how hard it was to see my own pony go a few years ago. I had to agree with them when they asked for help organizing it."

Yuri offered a smile.

"You want to ride?" Yuuko gestured to a room off to the far side while walking a few steps forward. Suddenly, the aisle lights were on. "I have someone right here. Come meet him."

Following her down to the stall across from the door she'd gestured to before, Yuri stopped. A big, strong, bay face was inspecting her closely. Yuuko slid the door open and stepped inside to slip a halter over the horse's face.

"Yuri, meet Alchemy." She smiled, beckoning the other woman forward. "Imported from Germany. He never really went 'pro' per-se but he was Grand Prix in his heyday. He's retired now, soundness issues. He tends to get thrush when we turn him out so he stays in. His owner is crazy rich, but she boards him here for nearly free because we can use him in lessons. The problem is, no one can ride him right. Not even I ride him, and Minako is retired after that terrible back injury—"

"Grand Prix like dressage?" Yuri stopped her, inspecting the horse's face carefully. Yuuko nodded frantically. That explains why no one rode him, only Minako rode and trained dressage and if she was retired, there was no one.

"Take him out, please, I want to see what he can do! Yuri!"

Yuri bit her lip and hesitated, thinking what could possibly happen.

"I have clothes you can borrow in the tack room, they're my emergency pair in case someone splashes water on me or something—you know, bathing them and stuff—but they should fit. They're nothing nice, that doesn't matter. You can use my tack and my boots too…". She was rambling but Yuri let her clip Alchemy to the crosstie and push her into the tackroom to change.

It took half an hour to be ready.

"I haven't done a test in a long while," She warned, taking a deep breath. "And nothing Grand Prix level."

 _You know that one musical freestyle by heart._ Her mind was nagging at her. She did, she had seen one particular freestyle several times on youtube in every which position but she'd never tried it.

"Can you hook this up to your speaker?" She handed her cellphone over, before she backed out, youtube open to the song she needed. "Thanks."

Yuuko smiled and leaned over the bottom half of the door to the indoor.

 _X, halt, salute._

"Victoria, the weirdest thing just got posted online." Victoria paused from taking her helmet off. The stable yard was cold this time of year so most of the team that was supervised by Yakov and/or Lilia had relocated to the national stables. It meant that it was far too hot to keep a helmet on after an intense ride in the indoor, even in the dead of winter, and her hair was sticking to her head in the worst ways.

"Ow, Pobenka, knock it off." She chuckled when the mare rubbed her muzzle over Victoria's head. "You're going to scar me so I don't grow hair there, stop!"

"Victoria, seriously, come see this." Mila, a show jumper, motioned her over again, more frantically. "Someone did a cover," It came out like a question, "Of your and Pobenka's freestyle from your qualifier season." The redhead passed her phone over to the blonde, confused expression clouding her face.

"What?" Victoria frowned, holding the reins of a lightly agitated dressage horse. "Oh…". The music was familiar, most of the components were, too, though the girl in the video didn't do her changes right and her horse seemed stiff in his front right leg. Her passage needed a little work, but it was there. The elements were all there. "Oh." She blinked in surprise when the video automatically exited fullscreen and she saw the name of the rider in the title.

"Oh, I know her." Mila nodded, just now bothering to read the identity of the rider. "She flunked out of show jumpers last year on Dime A Dozen, you know, that really nice Dutch horse? I hear he went lame, she brought him down before retiring him altogether."

"Who is she riding this season?" Victoria asked, eyes focused on every little movement when she rewatched the video, this time on her own phone.

"She's not." The simple, bored tone of voice made Victoria's head snap up in surprise. "I don't recognize that horse. She's not competing, I've not seen her come up in any points records anywhere, to my knowledge. Not in the US at least, and that's where she was training. I don't follow the JEF—Vikenka, what the hell?"

She left her mare, reins over her head, in the middle of the aisle and took off down it herself.

"Vika!" She shouted again, but she and the horse beside her were left to watch her form disappear around a corner. "Jesus, where does she think she's going?"

 **A/N - HI HI! This is cross-posted on AO3 under** **wunkind! I just thought I'd post it here!**

 **Please leave a review! I love to hear from folks!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Vika, I swear to you," Yakov's voice hit her ear the moment she landed. "You are too much trouble. Your father won't be happy about this. I stayed silent when you bought Pobeda for way too much money just because you didn't like her trainer—"

"They were ruining her, Yakov—"

"I stayed silent when you vehemently refused all of the mounts I brought you last year—"

"I wanted to focus on her."

"Vika, shut up." He growled out. "You know this is the dumbest thing you've ever done? You're not a child anymore and this is a human being, not a horse. You can't just pack up everything you have and move to another country. Pobeda's feed, did you even pack it? She'll have to transition over when you get there." The silence that met his ears told him that she'd not considered it.

"I packed enough for customs and her trip." Victoria said after her moment's hesitation.

"There better be enough leftover or she'll colic. You know she's sensitive." How could she be so stupid, Pobenka was her entire life these days. "You have her paperwork?"

"She boarded before I did, Yakov." Victoria promised. "I have all of her paperwork. She has her coggins. I have a copy of it in another bag in case. Plus, you have your copy at the farm if I need. You can send it—"

"I'm not helping you out of this one, Victoria." He stopped her and she winced. He was actually angry. "You've fucked up."

Hearing it from one of the only people's whose opinion actually mattered made her resolve falter a little bit.

"You aren't being totally unrealistic. Twenty-seven year olds take students all the time. You have no actual training in this, though. How do you think you're going to manage? Do you have connections in Japan to be flying horses left and right for competition? You can't trailer to America for WEG in a year. Be honest, do you have a plan? Do you even have a horse for this girl to ride?"

 _Yes._ Because absolutely if she didn't she'd have given her Pobeda to show, but she'd secured three horses to look at by the time she'd landed.

"Yes."

"God help you." He hung up.

He'd actually hung up on her.

Her eyes watered and she bit her lip, worrying after him for a moment. Everything she'd found on the girl in the video pointed her in the direction of show jumping. The girl had never competed in dressage at an international level, but there she was. It was bad, it was choppy, but the basics were all there. Yuri had the capability, she had the seat and the posture. Certainly, she had some semblance of how to ask for certain things.

Snooping had brought her to the understanding that the horse in the video was retired from the international circuit at the age of thirteen, early for horses. She assumed that would mean it was an injury that caused the retirement, which would also explain the stiffness (though stiffness could be explained away by improper warm-up as well).

The door opened without need for a key, though she had been prepared for that. The internet was so useful for things, including providing information on Yuri's family business.

"Hello," Victoria tried, her accent sounding heavy to her own ears even. She hadn't used English in a while, she tended to keep to her own team or to people she could understand in Russian or French. "I'm here to see Yuri."

An older, middle-aged woman looked her up and down. A small smile played at her lips.

"I'm—"

"We have a room upstairs. Are you staying?" Victoria nodded, a little more embarrassed to hear her English was actually really pretty sounding, though maybe she was best with simple phrases she would have to use frequently with guests. She low-key hoped it was the latter, she traveled internationally frequently enough that her own English should probably be better than it was.

"At least for the night." _At least until I get my horse through customs_.

"And you wanted to see Yuri?" That was the goal. Victoria nodded with a smile. "She is at the barn right now. I can give you directions? Or you can use a phone and I can put in the address? I have it written down somewhere around here." The woman busied herself with a small book that she pulled out of seemingly nowhere before nodding and holding out her hand. Victoria handed over her phone willingly. The confused expression on the other's face is the only thing that clued her in to the problem, her phone was set in Russian. Easy enough to fix. Taking it back, she hurried to add an extra keyboard and open the map application directly, readying it to have an address input.

"There you are." She smiled warmly at the blonde before seeing her off.

It was a walk, it took forty-five minutes with long legs and a brisk pace. Finally she was staring at a relatively understated stable. It was smaller than the yard back home, but much smaller than the national headquarters she had been riding at only two days prior. She strode straight in, listening to disgruntled snorts by horses who recognized her as a new-comer.

"Shh," She held up a hand to the hindquarters of a pony on the cross ties. It was chestnut and shaggy with an untamed pony mane and looked at her with a slightly agitated expression. "Hey, little guy."

A decidedly human gasp met her ears.

"Hello?" She winced at her own voice again, it would take some getting used to. She spotted the origin of the sound standing a few meters away. A curry comb in her trembling hand. She was small, only a young child, and probably shouldn't have been grooming a horse on her own. Victoria had to smile at the thought, how many times had Yakov scolded her as a child for coming to the yard alone, unsupervised. "Hello." She tried again.

"H-h-hello." Victoria held onto a hope that the little girl knew English well enough to not get herself into trouble.

"Is this your pony?"

A nod.

"He is very, very handsome."

Another nod.

Maybe, maybe she didn't understand. The child scurried away in a hurry and Victoria sighed, she hoped the girl had run to find an adult—preferably the one she had come here for.

Whispering met her ears and she looked up again. There were three of them now, all almost perfectly identical, and staring at her.

"Hello, my name is—" They were off again, back down the aisle. Victoria looked at the pony with confusion in her own eyes now. "This is harder than I thought."

But really, had she thought of it at all?

A chorus of "mom" met the ears of the three young adults in the indoor. Seconds later, three young girls stumbled and tripped through the door in a rush.

"Call door before you enter!" A man snapped at them sternly.

"Yes, dad, but—"

"You three are supposed to be grounded, what are you doing here?" Yuuko frowned, walking towards them. The triplets had been scolded for posting the video of Yuri online. For an equestrian video, it had managed to go unexpectedly viral across the horse-world. Yuri had been…lightly panicked but the damage didn't seem too bad. Most people didn't know who she was anyways, not in the past year at least. "Go back home, if I see that the pony has been out of his stall in the slightest—"

"But, mom!" All three, perfect synchronization.

"No buts!"

"Mom, that rider is here!" Capriole shouted.

"The one with the silver horse that won the Olympics!" Courbette explained.

"The one that qualified for Bejiing when she was eighteen!" Levade whined, adding as an afterthought, "I don't get why that was a big deal. The games didn't open until she was 19 anyways—"

"Victoria Nikiforova!" Capriole finished. "She's outside!"

Silence met their outburst. Yuri had halted the moment the girls had run in, by C at the far end of the arena. Yuuko was sitting on a mounting block just left of center and her husband stood by her.

"Nikiforova is in Russia." Their father finally laughed.

"No! No, she's here!" They insisted, grabbing onto their parents' hands while Courbette pulled out a phone from her pocket. "Look! I took a picture!"

"I hope you asked permission." Yuuko frowned at her and her husband looked amused. "If it really is her, they should be polite at the least."

"Dver!" A distinctly feminine voice called before a head poked around the corner. "Hello!"

"Holy shit." Yuri whispered, eyes wide.

She was a distance away and, stupidly enough, without her glasses but she could still recognize the long, almost white hair and she could imagine bright, icy blue eyes. She couldn't really tell if Victoria was smiling, but her voice sounded friendly enough.

"You know who I am," Victoria put her hands on her hips. "Considering you borrowed one of my musical freestyles. Good job, by the way, for someone who obviously has not competed at any decent level in dressage."

Yuri grimaced and Yuuko looked taken aback.

Victoria blinked.

"I need to warm up, my English is not always great. I am right? You do not compete in dressage? Definitely never Grand Prix?"

"Is she insulting me under the guise of not knowing English?" Yuri asked Yuuko softly after letting Alchemy walk over to her.

"Yes?"

"I came to help." Victoria stepped forward, offering a hand up to to shake the other woman's. "I am not sure why you chose to borrow a freestyle, it defeats the purpose and it is not like this is dance or something where borrowing choreography is typical. It was hard to watch your lead changes. This horse was trained in dressage, from what I found out? Yes, he should not be doing hunter changes then. You are asking wrong."

"You came to help?" Yuri asked. Victoria raised an eyebrow, isn't that what she had just said? "Help with what?"

"Your horse is lame." Victoria said, as if it was obvious. Yuri nodded slowly, eyes still wide with confusion and surprise. "You need a horse. I have a prospect. Welcome to Grand Prix, we need to fix your lead changes." She looked the other girl up and down. "And your calves. You are a bit of a…we will put you on a diet."

Yuri stood, silent in shock.

"You can finish your ride, I will watch." The Russian smiled when Yuri leaned down to finally take her hand and shake it. "Tomorrow morning, bright and early, we have three horses to look at."

It was obvious nothing was going to get done with Victoria's eyes on her. Everything Yuri did, the other woman's expression was completely blank. The only time she had spoken was to call out and ask if Yuri was really a jumper because "you keep looking at the ground."

It took her all of fifteen minutes to decide to hop off and give it a break.

"He is handsome," Victoria said finally, patting Alchemy's neck as Yuri dismounted. "I prefer mares, but he is ok. Definitely soundness issues, no surprise he retired. His muscle has," A pause and the next word came out like a question after she checked her phone, "Atrophied so maybe that is why," She paused and looked at Yuri now that the other woman was on her own two feet. Jodphurs definitely should not be as loose as they were on her. "Then again, so have yours…I have my work cut out for me." She offered a cheerful smile, her cheeks dimpling and rounding to cause her eyes to squint so much Yuri wondered whether they were even still open.

Yuri glanced down at her own pants with a blush.

"Do you eat?"

Blunt.

"Yes."

"Weird." Victoria took the other woman's hand in her own. She laced their fingers together and gestured to the horse. "Bring him. Untack him."

There was a horrible sinking sensation in Yuri's stomach when she realized that Victoria was staying at the springs. There weren't many rooms as it were, but her mother suggesting that Victoria room with her was ridiculous. Yuri hadn't been back home in years, she didn't really know consciously what was still in there in terms of incriminating evidence. There were ribbons everywhere, that she knew. Her mother hung up every single one that she sent home. It had actually come to the point where Yuri considered not picking them up from the office (most riders her age and status didn't choose to bring home ribbons anyways) but she felt guilty not having something in her hands to send her mother and she didn't always place high enough to get trophies or silver plates.

"Fuck me," She mumbled, quickly yanking down a few pages from Beijing. The last thing she needed was Victoria seeing them. Equestrians weren't really used to fanatics and most young riders in high rated circuits would meet those they looked up to fairly early. "What else do I have that shouldn't be up?"

Well, more things from Beijing, certainly. 2008 wasn't the first time Yuri had seen Victoria, they had actually competed at the same venues on a few occasions or at least been at the same shows (being in different disciplines meant sometimes one of them was just there to cheer on stable mates). It was just the first time she'd actually gotten a glimpse into the other woman's life and they were only a few years apart in age. Yuri had set the goal for herself to qualify in the next Olympics but had missed the team by a few points.

"This is your room?" The accent was lighter than it had been earlier, and even at dinner. When Yuri turned around, Victoria smiled. "Pretty. Are these all yours?" Yuri nodded as the other woman inspected the shelves. "You have some training." She said softly, fingertips brushing over ribbons from local dressage shows in her youth. They stopped on the nameplate.

"My apologies," Victoria said suddenly. "This looks new. Was he old?"

Yuri nodded, tears threatening to spill over.

"My childhood pony was my best friend. It is hard to see them go." She whispered, staring at the name a little longer before smiling again and turning around. Victoria sat herself dead center on the floor and looked up expectantly at the younger woman. "We should get to know each other, before I start putting you on various horses."

"I have a mattress for her, unless you would like to share your futon?" Yuri looked up in surprise as her mother opened the door to her room. "Up to you, let your father know what you decide."

"She's staying in here?"

Victoria looked between the two, confused. Maybe she should consider learning some Japanese while she was here...

"She's one of your friends." Yuri's mother frowned.

"I'm not eight, this isn't a sleepover! Mom! MOM!" She called, stepping towards the door her mother left through. "Ok. It could be worse."

She had cleaned up any incriminating evidence.

"What kind of canter do you like?" Victoria brought her back to the moment. "When was your last ride without stirrups? Do you know how to do a lead change right? Is there a book of your old score sheets around here somewhere? Any boyfriends I should know about? Past boyfriends? Girlfriends—"

"Something smooth that covers ground, but I could care less so long as the transition is good. Before we retired Dima. I know how to do lead changes, I don't know why you say they're wrong. I don't think I have my dressage scores, I was probably thirteen at the last dressage show I did. How are those questions relevant?" Yuri fires off in just as rapid succession.

"I need to know things about you so I can make you tick."

"Stuff like that is private." Yuri mumbled, crossing her arms and sitting back down on her mattress. "And irrelevant."

"This is like a girls' night!" Victoria rolled her eyes. "We can just share things!" Silence. "Well we can talk about me! So there was—"

Oh god this was going to be a long night.

Surprisingly, it wasn't. Victoria was blinking sleep back from her eyes only half an hour later and then was dozed off, clutching at her pillow. Yuri wasn't tired, too anxious to be tired really, and tried her hardest not to watch the other woman. The bed was big enough, they didn't have to touch at all, solved some discomfort.

As much as she was trying not to look, Yuri noticed Victoria was restless in her sleep. For someone who seemed so content and animated through her day, she didn't seem to be even remotely content in her sleep. She wondered what had the other woman's face screwed up in a frown and framed by silvery hair.

"Again," Victoria called. Despite this being the fourth attempt at a leg yield off the wall, she didn't sound irritated in the slightest. "Don not let him stop!"

Yuri was panting and all but literally clutching her side.

"This is a school pony," Victoria frowned, thoughtful finger to her lip when she turned towards the owner. "He does not move well off the leg and she cannot carry a whip."

"He listens to voice—"

"She will lose marks for that." Victoria shook her head. "Off, he is not working. Do you have a walker here or can a groom do it?"

"You still use hot walkers in Russia?" Yuri blinked in surprise.

Victoria cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"They can be really dangerous." Yuri explained. "We have one but it isn't electric and we don't use it."

Victoria did actually know that, it's why she chose to walk Pobeda herself normally. It didn't mean that her stables didn't have one.

"I can walk her." The owner sighed.

"Next horse." Victoria nodded, taking the third horse she'd found by the reins.

It took Yuri fifteen minutes to regain any semblance of control. The stallion moved off her leg easier than she expected.

"He's gentle," Victoria commented in approval.

Yuuko said something in quick Japanese and the owner replied.

"He says he has the heart of a gelding." Yuri commented as she passed. "Oh—"

Victoria laughed at Yuri's surprised response to the sudden passage she had asked for.

"You really don't know upper level movements." She commented. "That's not how you ask for a trot, you asked too hard."

This one was good. It would take work, but he and Yuri looked pretty together. They were already connecting. Her seat was tight but not rigid or stiff. It was natural, it flowed.

"What is his name?" Victoria watched the canter closely, a small smile on her lips. This one was it.

"Hikami de." Yuuko called from the side, grinning and bouncing with excitement.

Victoria pursed her lips in distaste at the lead change Yuri asked for, confident the horse was better than that.

"On Ice." Yuri said breathlessly, using everything in her to keep the stallion collected as she circled 20m around Victoria.

"If you win the FEI worlds this year, I will buy you this horse." Victoria said seriously, watching his legs. They would need a vet to be sure, but he looked fine. She brought her gaze back up to smile at the younger woman. "Yuri, it looks like you're going to be on ice this year."

Hikami's eyes were wide when Yuri suddenly halted, tears in her eyes.

"What should we call him around the barn?"

There was a moment's hesitation.

"Hika." Yuri said finally.

"Hika." Victoria nodded, grin still wide on her face. "Welcome to Grand Prix."


	3. Chapter 3

Yulia tugged at her hood and sleeves. It was chilly and against her better judgement to wear nothing but a black hoodie, leather vest, leather pants, and combat boots.

"Victoria!" She shouted angrily. She should have thought this through, in hindsight. She was fifteen and in a country where she didn't speak the language entirely alone.

At least, it seemed, most people knew some English.

"Bitch." She mumbled, checking her phone and thanking herself for at least remembering to get an international data plan set up. "I am going to slaughter you."

 _"_ _When you're registered by the FEI and Yakov feels you're ready to show Grand Prix, I'll help you find a horse and I'll help you with you're freestyle."_

"I should've anticipated you forgetting." She sighed and checked her phone again. She'd taken some really cute pictures around at the shops she'd been into. The problem came about posting them, given her trainer followed her. She really didn't need everyone after her. She'd said she was taking some time off to go back home. Living near the national team stables didn't take her so far away from her family, but it took its toll.

Her phone rang and she grimaced, looking down at it.

"Yulia," The tone was curt. "You said you would call when you got there safely." She could imagine Yakov pinching the bridge of his nose. A flight to Japan was a little longer than a train to Moscow. "I called your grandfather, I was surprised to know you weren't there."

"Do you know where Victoria is?" Yulia demanded.

"I swear to God, if you are in Japan, Yulia, I will drag you back home this instant and keep you on school ponies for the rest of your meager existence." He wouldn't do that, she was his pride and joy—his little prodigy. A moment's pause and a softer sigh, "Yulia, you know she's like this."

Forgetful? Yes. Victoria Nikiforova was tragically forgetful and horribly oblivious to the world around her. It still stung a little, to be dropped like a green horse's shoulder the moment Victoria felt like a change of scenery.

"I'm going to come back. I'll bring her with me."

She hung up and continued her search. She needed someone who spoke enough English to be able to tell her where there were horses, then she'd find Victoria.

It took three hours, three hours of painstakingly bad communication, she should have really considered the issue, before her phone chimed. The alert was from Instagram, something Yulia typically kept on mute, letting her know Victoria had posted a picture.

And, thankfully, she had tagged a location.

She rushed, fingers clumsily hitting wrong keys, to load the address into a map and sigh with relief.

A twenty minute walk would hardly kill her.

Her arrival was fairly quiet, though that was because she had failed to notice anything off about the boatload of trailers out front. She was used to seeing multitudes of trailers, not many of Yakov's students could afford to keep their horses at the stables he trained at and not many of them were riding clients' horses. Most kept their own somewhere and trailered them out.

This was a small barn, though, and she didn't account for the fact that maybe Victoria was the most exciting thing to happen there in weeks if not years.

"Yulia Plisetskaya!" She thought she heard a gasp, but when she turned around she saw no one. She removed her in-ear headphones from one ear and searched the immediate surrounding area.

"Hello?"

Stifled giggles.

"Hello?" She was young and she had far more experience in the Americas than even Victoria had, having spent a full summer in the state of Florida. Her English wasn't perfect, far from it, but her accent was duller. "I hear you, where are…" She was distracted immediately by the small crowd of people at the actual entrance to the stables. The most of them seemed to be owners, judging by the fact they were wearing shades of white that shouldn't be allowed outside of the show ring for sake of getting dirty. Many of them were chatting amicably before she stepped in.

The cheerful chatter turned into hushed murmurs.

"Where is she?" She growled out, shoving her carryon between two men in their forties. Her eyes focused on someone exiting what was presumably a tack room, carrying a bridle. Her medium-length black hair was tied in a ponytail. Yakov would never let her get away with that, even if she didn't have such short hair herself. "Ay! You!"

The group of people seemed to grow more tense and she wasn't sure why. She was fifteen, she was small and fairly slight. Girls didn't grow into muscle bulk even with horseback riding, everything except her thighs were lean, but she could control a 1,200lb animal easily most days.

And the voice she used when she was irritated was just part of who she was.

"It's you?" She snorted when Yuri had fumbled the tack in her hands when she startled. "Victoria left to see you? You're that jumper that lost absolutely everything last year. I even placed above you at year-end on a thirteen year-old and I'm not a jumper."

The downside to Yulia's placement with Yakov was that she often showed whoever he had available. It was the reason she was yet to ride at the Grand Prix level in dressage, they were harder to come by if you didn't train them yourselves. Yakov hadn't been getting many prospects and Yulia couldn't afford to find and buy one.

Yuri only blinked, fingers still fidgeting nervously at the bridle.

"That's pathetic, she wants to turn you into a Dressage Queen? Please." She afforded the woman a once-over. "Can you even hold yourself in a saddle with those? It looks like someone poked toothpicks into your hip—"

"Yulia." Victoria's voice sounded from around the corner. She had been in the ring. "I thought I heard your voice." She winked at Yuri so conspicuously that Yulia rolled her eyes. "Her 'horse voice' carries, you should hear her when she tries to get a horses attention while they are intent bucking her off."

Yulia pushed air through her gritted teeth in a hiss.

"What are you doing here?" Victoria refocused on her. "Yakov sending me students already?"

"Fuck off," Yulia snapped, "I see you haven't learned to use contractions yet."

"Hurtful." Victoria teased, adding in Russian. "My English is just barely worse than yours."

No response.

"Why are you here?"

Yulia looked at her expectantly.

"I promised you something, I assume? What was it, I forgot." Victoria frowned, finger to her lip while the other hand remained covered in leather and gripping the other glove.

"A horse. Yakov said last year, if I score high enough he will let me show Grand Prix in the FEI final qualifiers. I held my end of the bargain, but I need a horse." She gritted out. "You promised."

Victoria softened a little. They came from two different homes entirely, she and Yulia, and while she had always seen the younger girl as sort of a sister, sometimes she forgot Yulia didn't have the same means. Yulia's father, for instance, wasn't enough of a semi-oligarch to make connections on her behalf and find her horses for her seasons.

Yulia's father, to Victoria's knowledge, wasn't even in the picture.

It also meant the younger girl didn't have the option to just buy someone she thought was promising.

"You want to show in the FEI World Cup qualifiers at the age of 15?"

"I am going to show in the FEI World Cup." Yulia corrected. "And I'm going to win."

Victoria smirked.

"You need a horse first, Yulenka." She reminded and the younger's nose wrinkled. "I'm working with a few now I'm here. I think there's one that might suit you."

Yulia wanted to make a comment that Victoria in no way should be left to train horses on her own. Yakov trained their horses for them, technically. His riders just tended to be the body on them, and Victoria had been one of his favorites. He had been deemed unable to ride after a bad neck injury, so he was restricted to using his best students as the body on the horses he trained.

Victoria was wayward, there was no idea she knew what she was doing.

"And you'll write my freestyle."

Victoria raised an eyebrow in surprise. Yuri looked between the two, lost entirely. She spoke no Russian, had no idea what was going on.

Finally, in English, Victoria nodded.

"I'll write both of your freestyles then." Then she smiled more genuinely at Yuri. "I hope you'll get the chance to use them."

It was almost twenty-four hours later when Yulia met her new season's partner. The horse herself had never been to anything more exciting than local shows, but had the ability to learn. The only thing Victoria knew they would need to work on was her canter. The horse did not collect well, nor did she extend the gait. She just existed in a nice, comfortable middle.

"Why won't you move forward?" Yulia snapped, giving a kick with both legs now.

"Do you want to carry a whip, just as an aide to work on her with? It is only—"

"I need to be able to do this within the next few months to be able to qualify for anything." Yulia snapped. "I don't want her learning off the whip. Fuck!"

"Give her a little more counter bend, she's dropping her shoulder. This is all just a balance issue." Victoria reminded.

"Shut up!" Yulia halted evenly, delicately even despite her gait. "I can't even begin to execute your stupid freestyle if I can't get a hand gallop out of her."

She and the mare were both breathing heavily. As if suddenly aware of this, Yulia urged the horse under her to walk forward.

"You need to refocus on why you're here." Victoria said in Russian, not even a hint of malice in her voice. She seemed nothing but genuine. "You're getting frustrated with yourself and with your horse, and you need patience. Why not give up if you're going to be like this?"

 _Why not give up?_

When Yulia was young, she'd been taken by horses. Dance class didn't ever hold much interest and, while she was good at it, she often found herself anticipating getting home and playing with the dusty old horse toy her grandfather had given her of her mother's. When she was four, her dedushka brought her for her first riding lesson at a small stables. It was nothing much, leadline more than anything, but she fell in love.

It pained her a little to reflect on how much her grandfather had given up for her to be happy.

It was only four years ago that Yakov took her in. She'd received the opportunity to go through a week of camp at his stables as an early birthday gift from dedushka and worked harder than she'd ever worked for it. Her stables had let her borrow a fat, old school pony to take since students were encouraged to bring their own horses. When a fellow camper fell off in a runaway situation, Yulia had taken off after the horse as it tore out of the ring.

Yakov to this day had never seen an eleven year-old girl jump a four foot fence (when she'd been started on cross rails five minutes before) on a stubborn school pony just for sheer will.

"I'm not going to just give up." She spat at the woman, pushing bangs out of her eyes and tucking them under her helmet. "This is all I have."

"Prove it." Victoria crossed her arms with a smile. "Take a break, go muck stalls. I'll finish up with her."

Yulia begrudgingly dismounted and passed the reins to Victoria. The elder woman laughed at the teen's irritated scowl as she trudged unwillingly in the direction of the wheelbarrows.

"What do you think, Tigress?" The horse snorted in response. "I think she's got hope in her left. Let's see if we can't get you up to her standards."

It had been a while since she'd gotten to ride like this. Pobeda, now safely at home in one of the stalls immediately outside of the indoor, was her perfect horse now. They complimented each other. Where Victoria needed work, the World Cup winner taught her and where Pobeda had never moved in half of the ways Victoria needed her to, Victoria stayed long hours to make sure she learned. It had taken years, Pobeda was young, and Victoria had been, too. She had been riding other horses as well those seasons, but making sure the dapple grey traveled with them in order to get her accustomed to it.

Pobeda was nine, now. Victoria had met her when she was only two. She was nineteen when she'd found a dark grey filly with kind eyes and a cruel owner.

Tigress was older than Pobeda had been and dark brown, almost true-black but not quite. She was nine already and honestly well trained with all of the capability of a Grand Prix level dressage horse, the problem was she hadn't been finished by Yakov. Yulia was fifteen, she hadn't encountered enough horses worked on primarily by other trainers. Tigress' buttons were just different, but they were all there else Victoria wouldn't have even suggested the young teen try her.

"Good girl, easy," Victoria soothed, running through the part of the freestyle Yulia had been having issues with without the music. "Let's try the whole thing through twice and then I'll let you go, ok? You worked hard today."

It took about twenty minutes more before she decided to leave it at that and let the mare cool down.

She lazily leg yielded to the side where she'd rested her phone before mounting and picked it up, letting Tigress continue to plod along.

"Victoria, I told you not to call." Yakov's voice sounded gruff and tired, what time was it there, even? "You're lucky it's 6AM, why do I think you don't know what our time difference is?"

Because she didn't.

"I need to send a horse back to you." Victoria admitted. "I haven't spoken to her owner, but she's good. She's like Tantsya was." Her childhood pony had been trained by a French woman. She had beautiful extension for her size and she was sensitive, very responsive to the leg. Just like with Tigress, her buttons were a little different than Victoria had been used to even at that age. "Yulenka doesn't understand how to ride her and…"

And Yakov was right, Vika shouldn't have tried to play trainer.

"Send her home, Lilia will work with her." Victoria's eyes widened at the news. "I asked her to come help Yula prepare for this season anyways, anticipating she would not have a horse perfectly up to par. If you say this horse is capable of competing at a Grand Prix level without much work, I will trust you. Talk to the owner, see if you can secure the mare."

"I'll sponsor her for this year." Victoria said. "If the owner won't send her to Russia, I'll buy her."

"You're almost thirty, but you're still dumb as ever."

The line went dead.

She would break the news to Yulia that she would be returning home as soon as she could figure out how to secure Tigress for a trip to Russia.

In the meantime, Yuri needed to work on her lead changes with Hika because she had her first qualifier in a month's time and Victoria wanted nothing more than to see her get the chance to perform her freestyle.

"Yuri, are you tacked?" Victoria called down the aisle, almost spooking herself when one of the triplets tugged Tigress' reins out of her hand. She frowned at them. "You're too young to be doing that, you know?"

They smiled.

"Go get Yulia to untack her. I'll wait here."

Yuri poked her head around the stall she was in, tacking up Hika.

"No, you're on Pobeda today." Victoria shook her head. "I need you to learn your changes right and she won't ever do them wrong, she'd sooner watch you lose your own balance and fall off."

Yuri blinked.

"You scared to ride an Olympic champion?" She laughed at Yuri's cheeks, stained pink with nerves. "She'll show you how to ask for lead changes right. She doesn't do anything if you don't do it right."

 _Great._ Yuri thought to herself.

"What if I—"

"You're fine, I don't let anyone on her." Victoria shrugged. "You can untack Hika, I'll get her ready for you."

She turned around and walked back down the aisle to the corner stall. Pobeda was a mare, but she wasn't small in any way. Victoria clucked to her as she approached before gently calling her name. The horse looked up at her in confusion, hay hanging out of her mouth, and the woman chuckled.

"You ready to work today?" Of course she was, she was ready to work every day. She only got a gentle snort and a nuzzle in response. "It's not going to be with me, but I know you will do a good job. Yuri is more than capable of getting her ones down, I know she is. She's just not sure how to balance herself to ask right, but you know how to do it. You'll teach her." She smiled confidently.


	4. Chapter 4

Yulia absentmindedly stroked the brown mare's neck, wondering what she would look like nicely clipped. Victoria had asked her if she was absolutely certain she wanted to show on a horse. She didn't technically qualify for ponies anymore, but she was still U25. Did she want to take that? It seemed like a cheap shot, though she was well aware that it wasn't.

She listened to the carrying-on in the indoor. Yuri hadn't been able to sit through her lead changes right, even though she seemed to have figured them out in terms of how to make them more balanced. It sounded like they were coming better together now which meant that soon Yuri would be back on Hika permanently, Victoria was currently working on her, and Yulia had yet to be back on Tigress yet. She'd been stuck schooling instead.

"You missed your calling as a vaulter." Victoria startled her from her thoughts and Yulia realized she hadn't actually heard anything in the ring for maybe ten minutes now. She had gotten so caught up in clipping Tigress as instructed.

"What?" The teenager deadpanned.

"That move you pulled earlier, hopping on Alchemy." The school master was apparently not bomb proof as a trio of excited children knocking over a box in the hayloft had sent him off all the way down in the ring. Yulia had only just finished tightening the girth before she was suddenly jogging to keep up with him. It took her about thirty seconds to yank herself on. "You should have been a vaulter. Do you still train in gymnastics?"

Yulia shrugged. She had only done gymnastics for the sake of school.

"You should talk to Lilia when you're back in Russia." The older woman smiled, blue eyes sparkling. "She could probably get you into junior world's for vaulting in five seconds flat, you'd be good at it."

"I'm ok." Yulia shrugged her compliment off.

"Yuri did really well today—"

"Don't care." She started pulling Tigress' mane. "Seriously, don't you have something better to be doing? Like fixing Yuri's inability to look up?" For a show jumper, she was really bad at looking at where she was going. Did the chopstick seriously think her eyes were the only thing keeping her horse's head on?

"Someone is cranky." Victoria laughed, patting Tigress' shoulder and looking her over. "She looks good, ready to fly."

Yulia froze.

"What did you just say?" She gritted out.

"Ready to fly?" Victoria repeated. "Yulia, the Central European World Cup circuit starts in less than a month. You have to get back."

She wouldn't cry, not in front of anyone but especially not in front of Victoria. What was worse, she wasn't sure if they were tears of anger or happiness.

"You're going to have to hop on her for me tonight, so I can see what you need to work on and make sure you know your test. She has to leave before you else you'll never get her into the country in time." Victoria teased. Yulia fell deep into thought, letting Victoria work around her, brushing off bits of hair left behind by the clippers and helping her to tack up (though she didn't need the help).

In reality, in was an hour and a half later when Yulia was on Tigress, surprised to find she was a little sore from her ride earlier. Her manner of mounting earlier was her suspected cause for the slight ache. She closed her eyes, feeling like a child on a lunge line again. She hadn't kept her eyes closed on a horse in ages.

Connection, wasn't that what Victoria had been moaning about the past two weeks? Her lack of connection to her horse?

Yulia took a breath in and let it out, continuing around the ring while she waited for Victoria to actually enter. It felt peaceful, like she could focus on feeling the movement beneath her instead of looking at everything around her. She could feel the way that, even at the walk, Tigress depended on her hands to help balance her front end. The mare would stop immediately when Yulia reminded her she could carry herself.

"Are your eyes closed?" Victoria's voice reached her ears and Yulia glanced backwards over her shoulder.

"No." She grumbled, watching Tigress' ears flick backwards for a moment.

"Mhmm, ok." Standing off to the side and out of the way of any space Yulia would need to eventually complete her freestyle, Victoria dusted her hands on old, tan jodhpurs. "Let's get started."

Yulia kept the same, peaceful feeling throughout the warmup. Suddenly, Tigress' gaits felt more natural and less forced. She wasn't expending all of her energy pushing the mare into an extended trot so that she actually had something left in her to take on a canter afterwards.

"Whatever that just was," Victoria called after Yulia halted at the end of her test. The young blonde turned her head over her shoulder again to catch the feedback better. In response to the balance shift, Tigress moved off her leg and turned as well. "Keep it. That was it. That was what you wanted. Yulia, I've never seen you actually ride before, never like that."

"What's that supposed to mean." Yulia spat. She had been competing internationally for three years, she knew how to ride.

"That connection. I haven't seen you ride with it since that day in the yard with the school pony." Victoria grinned, patting the brown mare's neck and playfully tugging on the mane sprouting from her crest. "You ride too many sale and client horses for Yakov, you stopped connecting to them because you're worried they'll be bought. It's ok to connect with them."

There was a long silence, but Victoria kept grinning.

"Walk her out and hop off. You're done for today. Bright and early tomorrow, we have to get her ready to ship."

Yulia's emerald eyes followed the lithe frame out of the ring.

"Yulia likes troublesome horses. She says she doesn't get attached to client horses, but she does. She likes being the body on them when Yakov is training because she likes feeling like they need her." Victoria explained to Yuri in hushed tones. "Tigress is going to be one of those horses that only one person can ride, she's too nervous, and Yulia is going to make sure she's that person."

"I don't understand. She likes feeling like they need her, but she doesn't connect to them?" Yuri frowned. She had been lucky, any horse she had ever sat on, minus some school horses, had been almost entirely hers. She was the only one showing Dima, for instance, but even lower level horses. Maybe that made her spoiled, that despite being unable to own a horse she was wealthy enough to afford the opportunities in which someone would give her one good enough for her level of competition to ride.

"She wants a project." Victoria shrugged. "She wants to feel needed. Yulia has some…abandonment issues, though, and that's why she won't get attached. She has to leave them."

They watched the girl in the ring struggling to get even a real working trot out of her mare.

"I think I'll tell her tomorrow instead."

Yuri looked at the woman beside her in surprise.

"Will that give her enough time to pack and be ready?" She asked. Victoria was already cutting it close with wanting to tell Yulia today that she had a flight back to Russia in a day and a half's time. If she told the teen tomorrow, it only gave her overnight to pack.

 _"_ _She'll be fine."_

"That was incredible!" Yuuko praised her as she exited the ring, pausing to pick out Tigress' hooves before proceeding down the aisle. "Are you excited to join the list of Central Europeans?"

As excited as she ever would be, Yulia supposed. Under twenty-five…it was a division that mattered relatively, it only didn't matter for Olympic purposes. If she failed, but even made it to the top of that list, she might be proud of herself. She shrugged and continued to the mare's stall to untack.

"We need to work on tempis." Yulia told the mare, looking into her warm brown eyes and trying to keep the fluttering out of her stomach. Getting attached to a mount wasn't an option. Her lips pressed into a hard line. "But Yakov can help us."

The horse snorted.


	5. Chapter 5

"I want you on Pobeda again tomorrow." Victoria said thoughtfully, warms behind her head as she stared up at the ceiling above them. Yuri watched from her desk. "We need to work on your tempis and your pirouette, and you are plenty capable but I do not think you know how to ask right. Hika will do them, he just is not sure if you want him to—are you ok?" She finally noticed the younger woman's staring and propped herself up on the bed.

"Why did you grow your hair out?" Yuri blurted only a second before she slapped her hands over his mouth, eyes wide and face reddening in shock. Victoria's eyes widened too, blinking as she tried to make sense of the question. "I mean, it was short for so long—"

"Since I was fifteen or sixteen." Victoria agreed. She had finally found her voice, but couldn't seem to formulate a response.

"I'm sorry, that was so weird of me to ask. You really don't have to answer, I don't know where it came from…" Yuri's blushing had reached her ears and she pulled her hair out of it's low ponytail to let it fall and shield her face.

"No…it is fine." She hummed. "I never really thought how to explain it in words?"

There was silence.

"I was…in a crisis?" Victoria said finally, question in her voice. Yuri wasn't sure if it was from not knowing how to express her thoughts at all or how to explicitly speak about them in English. "By then…I did not know what I was? Or who, maybe? Most girls are small and delicate." She glanced over Yuri's frame and the younger woman shrunk even more if possible, making Victoria chuckle. "I guess I am not, not in the same way.

"You know the way we train? Like any other sport, if you do it intensely enough then it affects the way you…grow?" Yuri nodded. "Grow. Our backs become a lot more developed than a girl's normally would so we walk differently usually. Girls tend to walk with their palms facing in, equestrians tend not to? Usually, you notice our palms face backwards which I guess it more common in men with the way they naturally grow. I am not really graced with much," She gestured to her chest.

Yuri rolled her eyes because Victoria had way more going on up there than she did.

"And I like women." _That was blunt_. Victoria mentally slapped herself. It wasn't even like she wasn't ok with mentioning it, it was how she'd just said it that made her… "I like men too…this is going poorly. I cut off my hair in a fit in the middle of the bathroom we have at the stables. Yakov found me crying with hay and hair everywhere."

Yuri didn't say anything, she wasn't sure if she was supposed to. Victoria was the one that giggled.

"He is probably balding because of me." She knew the word for balding but not crisis, Yuri shook her head. "I must have given him a heart attack, but he is a good person, like a father."

Ice-blue eyes sparkled with fond amusement at old memories.

"He yelled for an hour for having a mental breakdown in the bathroom instead of preparing for a show in France. Then he just sat me down and left. When he came back, he had…the…when you…horse's hair." She frowned, make a quick buzzing noise, and looked to Yuri desperately.

"Clippers?"

"Clippers!" She agreed, "And he evened it out a little before sending me to Lilia, they might have been married then, to get it fixed."

"Oh." Yuri nodded, as if the whole story made all of the sense in the world. "Well…"

"Identity crisis." Victoria shrugged, but with her ever present smile still intact. "It was silly. Russia is…conservative and I was worried I would be in trouble."

 _Oh._

"But, I have learned a lot. Do you know Chris Giacometti?" Yuri shook her head. "Oh, he sometimes does some show jumping, I thought maybe you had seen him around. He helped."

Yuri nodded again, silent. Victoria was smiling, still, but something about her posture was slowly changing. Her fingers were starting to pick at the sheets, for instance, and she had taken to blowing at a strand of hair in her face quietly.

"Do you...would you want to read more about it?" Yuri asked cautiously. When Victoria's hands stopped moving and she regarded Yuri with an interested gaze, Yuri continued. "I took a few courses on gender and sexuality when I was in the US. It's really interesting, I have some books, I could help you if you get stuck. I know some of the English might be a little...like reading a dictionary?"

"What is wrong with you?" Victoria cocked her head to the side, but her eyes were still contently focused.

"W-w-what?" Yuri blinked furiously, heart starting to race. She could feel her hands growing clammy and gripped at her pants. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you study that?"

"Because it's important and it's interesting! It's good to know the struggles people go through and to try and understand them so that you can create a better—are you asking my identity?" She realized suddenly, eyebrows knitting together in a beyond confused expression.

"What?"

"Are you asking if I'm straight?" Yuri repeated. "Heterosexual? Like men?"

"I told you I like men." Victoria frowned.

"You're...well you described being bisexual, that's fine." Yuri's frown deepened. "Ok. Before you read any books, you need to know there's nothing wrong with you. That also means you can't go around asking people what's wrong with them, you're going to get punched or open a can of worms."

 _There are gay people in Russia, there's a community there just as well as anywhere else. Was she really so worried that she sought so little guidance from another equestrian that she didn't even know nothing was wrong?_

"There's nothing wrong with you or anyone else." She finally broke, nervous laughter ringing in her ears. "At the very least, that's not it."

Victoria seemed to think. Yuri, meanwhile, became suddenly fascinated with her desk. It was the same one from her childhood. An old nail polish puddle had dried and left a purple bump just off-center to the right and she needed to scratch it off, if only to do something.

"You will help?" The Russian-accented voice reached her ears, but didn't register for a moment. "If I read some of what you suggested?"

"Yes." Yuri nodded firmly.

Victoria nodded, scooting closer to the edge of the bed she'd been staying on.

"Bedtime." Yuri agreed, sliding off her chair to go and turn off the light before returning to lay down. "Victoria?"

"Yes?"

Asking the other woman why she had agreed to stay in the same bed, same room even, as Yuri was probably in poor taste at this point. It would likely come across as an attack, as Yuri not wanting someone like her in the same space after they'd been spending nights like this for weeks.

Not that she wanted it in the first place.

"I forgot. Never mind." She knee Victoria didn't believe her, but she didn't want to go into it.

Time flies when you're having fun, or so they say. For Yuri, it seemed to hold true. Riding was fun, though it was by no means play. Victoria had worked her into an absolutely bloody pulp, until she felt like she couldn't dismount without losing her balance or until she spent at least one training day a week with a whip because she physically couldn't demand anymore from her tired legs.

"New year." Victoria smiled, arms crossed as she scanned the show ground. It was that sort of fake smile she had on sometimes, Yuri had picked up on it, but not the bad kind. It was the type of fake smile that just hid the mental calculations at work in her head. With Yuri's luck, she was timing exactly how far the warmup ring was from their stall on the grounds and then measuring that back to the actual ring she'd be showing in.

Yuri, meanwhile, was anxiously fiddling with her bridle. She had already polished it until it could be polished no more.

There was a blast of hot air on her hand.

"Makka," Victoria scolded lightly, crossing the makeshift, grassy aisle to reach her hand through the bars and scratch at the mare's ear. That was a new addition to the family, Victoria had flown her childhood pony out from Russia to use as a trailer-buddy for Hika. So far, the two got along amazingly. "Leave her alone."

The pony turned to nibble at her owner's fingers.

"You are twenty-two, you could try to behave better." Victoria scolded, but Yuri caught the treat she'd slipped out of her pocked when she thought no one was looking. "There is no sugar." She said, off-handedly before turning to Yuri. "Well, probably, but it is a sugar free mint. She is too old for too many sweets."

"She's really sweet, the triplets love her." Was all Yuri could offer and she could have sworn Victoria was trying to hide a blush.

"She was not, when I got her. She was sad." Victoria opened the stall and slid in, giving Makka the opportunity to search pockets for more sweets. "She never wanted to leave the stall."

"She was a rescue, right?"

"Yes…" Victoria sighed, "Maybe? Yakov and I were with the trailer and driving to look at a horse. I was only ten, still barely riding ponies. I saw her in a field covered in dirt and straw…I screamed until he pulled over." She was laughing now, lazily braiding the pony's forelock.

"She's lucky."

Victoria hummed, smile finally reaching her eyes when Makka snorted at her.

"Pobeda gets too excitable at competitions, or I would use her as a trailer horse." She offered, turning back to Yuri. "She likes to work. Her first test was only a training level test and she did her tempi changes…on a circle. She just likes to show off, if I brought her with us she would spread her excitement to Hika."

An excited horse was the last thing Yuri needed, if she was being honest with herself. Hika was big, powerful, a pretty mover, but he was calm. She had no doubt in her mind that he would do his job today, even if he did give her a little problems in the warmup ring when they'd gotten here yesterday—something she expected from him.

It was mechanical, Victoria wasn't really a coach or a horse show mom. The woman was a dressage queen herself, so managing even one student was a new experience. She watched Yuri polishing her saddle, again, and wondered if she should say something. Instead, she took the time to actually start brushing Hika on behalf of the younger woman.

"Did you want something to eat?" Victoria suddenly remembered they'd not had breakfast when she spotted Minako, Yuri's childhood trainer, with her sister walking towards them with cups of coffee. Yuri didn't answer, however, and partway through fixing a button, Victoria had to turn around and look to see where she'd gone. "Yuri?"

She tied up the end with yarn, not caring that she hadn't pulled it yet. Hika looked unphased by the sudden change in tempo when the silvery-blonde locked the stall began to nervously look around for her charge. She pushed past both Mari and Minako on her way out of the tent to try and scan the crowd for an individual head of black hair.

"Yuri, where—oh." She frowned, spotting the familiar polo at the warm-up ring. It seemed younger rider was animatedly talking to her from atop a mount that Victoria was trying to judge the height of—it was either a very large pony or a very small horse.

It was only a minute or two stroll to the fence where they were, Yuri looking uncomfortable if Victoria had to judge by the fidgeting. It was more than a little difficult to hear over the hustle and bustle of the Showgrounds, but she strained her ears to hear.

"Oh, V-Victoria." Yuri stammered, realizing finally that her trainer had joined them. "Um, this is—"

"You can call me Minami." The young rider spoke in almost flawless English that made Victoria a little jealous. "This is Lilly's Pond." He patted the pony, definitely a pony.

Lilly's Pond was flea-bitten grey with a definite snip smack on the center of her nose. The pony seemed high strung, no different than her rider—if Victoria had to guess, Minami was only fifteen or sixteen himself and Lilly's Pond was probably young as well. She turned her head to rub at her rider's calf and snort.

"We call her Yuu-chan around the stable."

"Named for me." Yuri murmured under her breath. Victoria nodded, that probably explained the excitement.

"We're competing today in Level 1! It's going to be so exciting. Last time, we scored a 54.66. It was really bad, but that was around the same time Yuri had flown back to compete and I was just a little distracted—"

"It was nice meeting you, I need to go." Yuri cut the younger rider off and turned on her heels.

Victoria stood, stunned for a moment. Her eyes were wide when they met Minami's, but she tried to hide it with a smile.

"She is just nervous." She offered, turning to let her eyes follow Yuri back up to the tent. "It is Hika's first time here."

"Hika is her horse, the one that was posted on Instagram?" Minami asked, a little less excitedly but still enthused nonetheless.

"Hika is my horse." Not that Yuri need know that yet. "Yes. He has been on Instagram."

"I'm so excited to see him ride!" She turned back, amused to see him practically swooning. "His trot looked so pretty and light. Yuri will win for sure!"

Another kid from a small town with big dreams and no means to get there, Victoria supposed. She often forgot that, as far as the sport went, she was beyond lucky.

"She will." Victoria agreed, wondering in the back of her mind if Hika would cooperate the way they needed him to. At least, she thought to herself for the millionth time this week, they hadn't had to fly him anywhere. "I have to make sure she eats. What time is your ride?"

"Right before the lunch break!" Minami informed proudly. "Last ride for my level. I start at 11:35."

"I will make sure she comes to watch."


	6. Chapter 6

_"_ _Papa, please." She would admit to anyone that she sounded like a whiny teenager when she begged. "I need this one."_

 _There was silence on the other end, except she could hear a door closing. It was embarrassing, at her age, to still be partially dependent on her father for finances. She technically had legal rights over her own accounts, but he had deemed her unfit to manage them herself. If she made any large purchases without him knowing, she'd be in more trouble than she was now for doing exactly that and flying off to another country._

 _Footsteps echoed over the line, he was in his office then. Victoria chewed at her thumb anxiously._

 _"_ _Papa, please."_

 _"_ _Vika, I spoke to Yakov about this already." She was the one who had asked him to, of course he did. "And he agreed that it would be a stupid purchase._ You don't train horses. _"_

 _"_ _What do you call what I've been doing for him since I was sixteen? What do you call what Yulia is doing? I haven't seen that man get on a horse as long as I've known him." Victoria tried to remain calm, but her nerves were fraying. She had secured Hika already, he was hers to train. "Papa, he has so much potential, think of the prize-winnings—"_

 _"_ _He's a gelding."_

 _"_ _He's not." She corrected, lowering her voice. "Papa, please. It's my money."_

 _"_ _Yakov told me you haven't returned." He said curtly. She and her father hadn't lived in the same home since she was eleven. He had always been the type to travel for work frequently as it were. Eventually, he just gave her to Yakov and she moved out when she was nineteen. "This horse is in Japan?"_

 _"_ _Yes." She bit her thumb just a little bit harder. Yakov was going to have caused another fracture in her family, and he wouldn't be any wiser._

 _"_ _You went to Japan just to look at horses?"_

So Yakov hadn't told him.

 _"_ _I found one."_

 _"_ _You were able to send one to Yakov, he has the Plisetskaya girl on her. They're top of the leader board right now." No surprise there, Central Europeans started slightly earlier than Japan's national circuit. Victoria wanted to try Hika out there first before taking him internationally. Especially because, realistically, they would likely need to travel to Europe and stay with someone and Victoria was trying to call in favors. "Why don't you come home? Show both horses. You can make the podium twice with two horses, no?"_

 _"_ _Yes, but that's not what I want to do."_

 _"_ _Yakov says you've taken on a student?" Her father said, her heart stopped. "Are they in Japan as well?"_

 _"_ _Yes. They live here."_

 _"_ _Is it that girl from the final?" He was talking about Mila's showjumping final, last year. Victoria's bottom lip quivered._

 _"_ _Papa—"_

 _"_ _Come home._ ** _Now._** _" His voice was firm._

 _"_ _Papa, please listen to me." Her voice cracked and the line went dead. In a panic, she dialed the only other number she knew by heart. The gruff "allo?" was familiar and comforting in a way that made her try and take a steadying breath._

 _"_ _Victoria?" Yakov sounded irritated._

 _"_ _Papa knows." She whimpered pitifully._

 _"_ _Pull yourself together, Vika, you're almost thirty. Behave like an adult." He sighed. If he'd been younger, he would run his hand through his hair. She could picture it, almost, being ten again and watching him pull off his hat and run fingers through his thinning hair when she did the exact opposite of what he'd said. "I'm sorry. You know he doesn't approve."_

 _Tears were threatening to spill over._

 _"_ _I told you that you should have separated your accounts much sooner than this." Because it had only been a ticking time bomb until her father entirely banished her from his life. "You are still welcome in Russia, your old room is here. Did he call you?"_

 _"_ _No." Victoria dabbed at a tear and sniffled. "I called him. Hika is an incredible stallion and I want to buy him."_

 _"_ _Vika, it's your money. You don't have to ask—"_

 _"_ _He has access to my accounts." She disagreed. "He can see what I've spent."_

 _"_ _Vika. It's your money. Get off the phone and transfer it elsewhere. Call and close the account._ Why are you wasting time _?" Yakov growled. "Hang up and get a move on before he does."_

 _She gasped and managed a quick "thank you" before, for once, doing as she was told._

Minami was a contender to be reckoned with, Victoria was surprised to know he wasn't competing in juniors while she watched. He was maybe a bit enthusiastic, but there was nothing wrong with anything like that.

"You rode well." Yuri complimented. She looked green, Victoria had noted that the younger woman hadn't eaten anything since they'd arrived. She had declined all attempts at feeding her and managed only half a bottle of water before complaining of nausea.

"Thank you!" Minami grinned. "Lilly's Pond is the best!"

Victoria couldn't agree, she had been personally attached to her own pony.

"Yuri, that is the call for lunch." Victoria said, though she was only aware of what the announcement had said because someone else nearby had translated it and she'd overheard. "We have a cooler in the car, you need food."

Brown eyes looked up and, though it should have been impossible, Yuri's complexion looked even more sickly at the mention of food. This, Victoria recognized, would be a problem. It was going on six hours since they'd arrived. Yuri hadn't eaten since dinner the day before. Her blood sugar would be low and she would be too lethargic to ride well come evening if Victoria didn't get something into her.

"You have to have a soda for me." She said finally, losing the internal battle with herself to make Yuri eat something halfway decent. The younger woman looked mildly surprised. "You need sugar else you are going to drop dead in front of me."

Goodbyes were hurried while thoughts raced through Victoria's head. When she was young, Yakov was still riding. For the most part, he was still competing when she started competing herself, first in jumpers—though that wasn't his specialty—and then in dressage. His wife at the time, Lilia, had encouraged her to change disciplines. Yakov had been her trainer before and during their marriage and they'd competed alongside each other.

Watching even Minami compete had her wondering if maybe she should have stayed competitive.

"Victoria, I'm not hungry." Yuri insisted. "I'm really nauseous, it's just the anxiousness. I'll eat once I've gone and it settles."

"Eat now, we have until two before you start." Victoria shoved an apple into her hands and a soda. "We will begin warmup as soon as you are done."

The fact of the matter was, Yuri was in no state to be near a horse and now Victoria was having doubts. She was talented, the Russian woman didn't know many people who could just adapt to a double bridle and a pirouette. Her anxiety though was through the roof and as calm as Hika was, Victoria didn't want to find out how he'd react.

To give them as many minutes as possible with not-panicking Hika, Victoria made sure to tack up. Like any decent dressage queen, she'd been sure to get crystal rhinestones studded across the browband. They weren't tacky, realistically you had to know they were there to see them, but they were pretty. They matched the blue-and-silver threading around the edges of Yuri's collar and the small stone brooch they'd set dead center at the top.

"I think blue suits you." She whispered to the horse, whose only response was to flick an ear lazily. Victoria lifted her head to see out into the aisle where Yuri was pacing, already in her white shirt but otherwise undressed. "I think it will suit both of you."

"Don't try your pirouette in warmup, at any gait." She passed the reins off. Yuri had finally mastered her tempi changes, but Victoria was not about to open the can of worms that was the pirouette. Yuri has actually taken to it a lot faster than she had expected. It didn't mean they were perfect, Yuri still sometimes struggled to keep from traveling and Hika had decided his newest bad habit would be breaking. It meant if Yuri asked ever so slightly wrong, she wouldn't hold him through it and they needed these points desperately.

Yuri was not in any position right now to be asking the right way.

Warmup was mostly smooth, mostly. Victoria glanced away, towards Minako approaching, in time to hear a frustrated, desperate sound coming from the rider she'd just turned away from.

"Yuri!" Victoria snapped, eyes softening when she saw the other woman looked ready to cry. "I said no. Do a spiral in now, make sure he listens." She glanced away again to spy out who was near the ring. She knew the time was approaching quickly, they'd need to be ready and nearby in a few minutes.

It wasn't that she never had performance anxiety, Victoria had been competing since she was a child. She knew the high stress environment that came when you mixed early mornings, late nights, and thousand-pound animals. It wasn't just confidence that kept her from feeling all those years, she genuinely enjoyed it all maybe a little too much. Now, she wasn't in control. She couldn't fix Yuri's test even if she wanted to, she wasn't in the ring to make the decisions for her.

She glanced back over her shoulder again and took a steadying breath. Worrying now would only make it worse for the other woman, after all.

Victoria instead focused on her watch, counting how much time they had left before they'd have to clean Hika up and make him look presentable while Yuri changed into more appropriate attire.

The latter thought made her glance down at her own zip-up polo. It was one of a set from sponsors, most of Yakov's riders had gotten something similar at one point or another. Hers had been specifically for the Olympics—white with red.

She zipped it up a little higher, something she realized was a little out of character for her, but she wasn't competing. She wasn't here to look good or intimidating.

She was here to make sure Yuri was.

The timer sounded too soon, her protege had thirty seconds to get to X and salute. Victoria's own heart was absolutely racing.

"Forward, push him forward." It was under her breath, she knew Yuri had no way of hearing her and it was probably for the better. "Stop holding him back, he's getting anxious."

Hika wasn't one to get worked up easily. Despite not being gelded, he was considerably calm. In this moment, however, he was working the bit in his mouth, trying to gain some leverage and freedom back. He knew his job. _He has this test memorized, Yuri…._

He stumbled into his first tempi change, unseating Yuri just enough to get her head back in the game. Victoria sucked in a breath, anticipating a fall.

It didn't come. Hika never went down and Yuri pulled herself back up. In hindsight, as a former show jumper she was probably used to losing her seat a little.

Minutes passed like hours and Victoria couldn't say she had ever paid so much attention to detail in someone else's test. She watched when Yuri's leg got a little too loose on Hika's side, made a mental note, and tucked it away for later. She was sure to see the other woman put too much weight into her outside stirrup when asking for a leg yield out—the lack of logic there startled her.

"Ok. Let us wait for your score and then we will hose him off." She was pulling her platinum hair back into a braid when Yuri exited the ring. "No! I am wearing white, Hika!" She snapped suddenly, turning the horse's face away with a single hand over his nose band. With her other hand she quickly grabbed the cloth from her back pocket.

Yuri let out a nervous chuckle.

"He is just worked up, we have seen him get like this before—your mouth is _green_ , do _not_ put it near me right now." The last bit was quieter, but Yuri's reaction was only to laugh more authentically.

"The scores for Rider 277 have been posted." Yuri looked up to focus on wherever the loudspeaker was. Victoria berated herself silently for not learning how to count in Japanese before the show. "Number 277, Katsuki Yuri riding On Ice scored an 84.66."

"84.66." Yuri breathed a sigh of relief.

"That should hold you over fine." Victoria smiled, wiping Hika's face again as he was so determined to wipe it on his trainer instead.


	7. Chapter 7

"Yuri, you are going to make her go bald." Victoria was settling into her English now, but being around someone who spent four years in America probably helped it slowly. It made her a little more confident in the training aspect, being able to communicate effectively. "Stop pulling her mane, it's even."

Yuri looked up, startled out of her own little world. They'd been prepping for ages, it was the end of May and they had their first two World Cup shows coming up…

In Russia.

Victoria was anxious herself, though for a completely different reason now. The first would be in Nizhniy Novgorod, a city she didn't expect to see anyone she knew in. Most of her stable mates would be competing in Moscow at this point.

"We have to get him on a plane in a few days." Yuri said, pulling mane out of the metal teeth of the comb in her hand. Hika shook himself off as she did so.

"Tack up Alchemy." Victoria turned away, headed towards the tack room without looking back at the younger woman.

"W-what?!"

"Hika has already been worked today, two times. Tack up Alchemy." Platinum hair had already disappeared behind the door and Yuri stood, completely still. Hika seemed entirely unphased, if not a little bored. He pawed at the ground the moment he realized Yuri wasn't paying attention to him and she slapped him lightly with the back of her hand on his side.

"Stop that."

Confused, she did still finish up what she was doing and put Hika away before brushing down the old, retired horse in the back stall. Victoria still hadn't emerged, but Yuri wasn't too concerned. Worst case scenario, she had to ride the stubborn old horse who sometimes moved a little stiffly in his front. Alchemy wasn't in pain, the vet reassured them every time he visited, just old and letting old injuries catch up with him slowly. He warmed up and moved close to perfectly.

He was just a fun trail ride.

"Take these." Victoria had reemerged with iridescent rectangles in her hands. She tossed one handful at Yuri unceremoniously. "In case of cars."

"Where are we going?"

"Out."

Another twenty minutes passed while Victoria racked up in almost complete silence. It was unusual for her to be so quiet, to the point that Yuri would have been concerned if Victoria hadn't looked so excited. As she and Alchemy approached, Yuri realized that Victoria hadn't actually been silent. Rather, she was talking to Pobeda in hushed, but seemingly happy Russian.

"Yes?" Yuri asked suddenly. Victoria stopped her chatter and turned towards the voice. The two horse and rider pairs stood maybe four feet apart.

A grin broke out across Victoria's face.

"Did you say my name?" Yuri asked with a nervous frown.

"Close," Victoria admitted. "Pobeda's name, probably. I call her by different names. She is registered under the name Victory and when we purchased her, we called her Yuri. It's a boy's name, though. Yakov took to calling her Pobeda. You would have heard me say Yura. The habit stuck."

Yuri blinked.

"I call her that back home but there would be two of you and I thought—"

"It's fine." Yuri's face was bright red. "That's...are we riding together?"

Topic change.

Victoria nodded and motioned to a bag Yuri almost hadn't noticed. It was fabric, definitely small enough to fit Tupperware.

"I thought we could just go for a ride to the park." Victoria offered, picking up the back and managing to tie it down to a saddle that's style declared it "all-purpose" but certainly was not meant to tie down food stuffs. "You are stressed and anxious."

It only took another few minutes for them to hop on. The whole while Yuri was staring at the ground and listening to the counterpoint two sets of hoof beats provided against her pounding heart. She almost didn't register it was time to hop on.

"Lilia used to tell me stories," Victoria sighed sometime into their ride along a road. "Yakov took her on rides to their far pasture, they had a sort-of pond. They would have lunch. They are not really a great example of any sort of relationship in hindsight, but she spoke of it well—"

"Wait." Yuri lost her seat a little when Alchemy responded to the halting tone of voice. "I actually know some place."

Victoria cocked her head to the side before what Yuri had said registered.

She grinned and Yuri thought she may have stopped breathing.

"Um…it's a little further up, there's a path next to the road." A squeeze and Alchemy picked up the pace a little bit. There was an obvious path through some trees, both riders had to duck their heads under low branches but it was otherwise well-worn. Obvious sneaker marks.

"I come running up this way sometimes." Yuri admitted, cheeks flushed pink—she'd been blushing so much recently she wondered if they were ever _not_ pink.

Definitely only meant to be a running path, the branches were low-hanging most of the way up and while the horses didn't mind Victoria had to laugh at the number of leaves and pine needles catching in her hair.

The path finally opened to a clearing with a running stream and though it continued onward through it, it was obvious Yuri had meant to stop there. They pulled up and Victoria produced two lead ropes from around her hips where her usual leather belt should have been and loosened halters she had clipped to her side in order to slide them over the bridles.

"Alchemy can graze?" She asked. She should have asked sooner, the issue was least of her worries when she'd planned the outing. Yuri nodded in response. "Good."

She set about unpacking dissembling her small pack after tying up the horses. Pobeda looked content, she didn't often get to graze, and snorted when she bumped noses with the older gelding beside her. Victoria smiled, placing the lunches in front of herself and Yuri and watching the horses.

"You won your last year in young riders on her." Yuri commented, also watching the horses in front of them. Victoria nodded. "How old did you say she was?"

"Not old." Victoria sighed, taking a bite of her lunch. "She was young when I got her, but she was promising and now she is nine. She has a little bit more ahead of her before she can retire."

Yuri nodded. Pobeda looked young, she was still more dark, silvery grey than she was faded. Her eyes didn't droop in the way a tired, older horse's did.

The grass was soft and the sound of water was pleasant. Even though this area was nothing compared to the actual park down the trail, it was still beautiful. Most of all, it was calm and for once in her life, Victoria didn't move to disrupt it. She just watched her horse nibble on grass and snort playfully when the older gelding got too close to her face. She never was very mare-ish, Victoria was thankful for that.

"She's gorgeous." The silence might have been calm, but it was somehow more anxiety inducing than Victoria's habitually over-enthusiastic conversation. "I was jealous of her, when you first brought her out to the World Cup circuit."

"Not when I got her." Victoria sighed, "It took a lot to get her to where she is. I would keep her how she is now, happy and enjoying work."

There was moment's hesitation before Victoria looked down to fiddle with the blades of grass at her feet.

"She actually is hurt, bad elbow on her right side. After the cup and needed to be kept in her stall for six weeks." She looked back up at Yuri. "I know you still feel like I should not be here. I would have taken the time off anyways, Yuri. She has been with me for seven years, I was not going to leave her there hurting on her own while I flew around Europe."

Some part of her was relieved, deep down, to know that at least some of Victoria's plan in the short-term had been thought out. Yuri had just given her an out.

 _So why does some part of this irritate me?_

"Do you miss it?"

"Competing?" Victoria shrugged, digging her heels into the dirt. Her boots definitely needed to be polished. "Not really. A little bit, maybe, but I like this too. I am excited for Nizhniy Novgorod this year, which isn't usually the case."

"That could just be because you've been away." Yuri supplied, crossing her arms over her knees and resting her chin on them. "I was excited to come home."

"Were you?"

Victoria wasn't looking her way at all now, just forward. Her eyes were unfocused.

"No." Another moment of silence passed between them. "But, I was happy to see my parents again."

"Yeah." Noncommittal and quiet, still unlike Victoria's usual self. "These are nicer than the trails back home. Maybe that's why Yakov and Lilia got divorced, the hacks were not pretty enough."

Yuri snorted, quickly covering her face and deep blush when she realized the unattractive and frankly impolite noise she had made. Victoria was already laughing too, though.

They spent most of the day like that, which was fine by both of them. They eventually trekked back home just to goof off in the empty outdoor arena, picking up a very collected canter down past the stables and to the gate in a mock-race.

It would be the last calm day before they had to fly out.

It was only a week later that they were in Russia and half a week after that before they would find themselves on the eve of another show. Victoria propped her head up on her pillow with a yawn, they were sharing a hotel room nearby the grounds where Hika and Makka were.

"You need sleep." She reminded gently, rubbing her eyes in the faint light of Yuri's phone. "You will be tired tomorrow."

"Can't sleep."

"Give me the phone." Yuri didn't move to put the phone away or otherwise return it. The other woman sighed and sat up, tossing the covers aside to walk the stretch of two feet between their beds barefoot.

"What are you doing?" Yuri shrieked when fingers tickled her side and a second hand grabbed the phone from hers. Platinum hair tickled her nose when she looked up at a grinning Victoria.

"This is keeping you up." She sat down on the edge of the bed, causing Yuri to scramble inches away from her quickly. "Tomorrow is one of your make-or-break days. You need sleep."

"I need my phone."

"Tomorrow morning." Victoria leaned to press a kiss to the other woman's temple as if it were something she did every day. Yuri blinked, heart racing. " _Goodnight_."

Minutes ticked by, Yuri watched them on the little digital clock between them. The sounds of the small Russian city outside their window did nothing to lull her to sleep. Victoria's gentle breathing was something she aspired to mimic in an attempt to trick her body into a false sense of drowsiness, but to no avail. Sleep just was not going to come to her.

It was four AM and they had to be up at five-thirty.

Yuri groaned as she buried her face into the pillow. She was anxious in show jumpers, too, this wasn't new to her. She knew how she got before big circuits. She was used to running on little sleep for these sorts of things. She had been disqualified on a time fault last year for being two tired and anxious to ride her first round.

 _Eliminated before the jump-off._

What if she scored so badly in her test that she did't make the freestyle?

 _Why are you doing this to yourself, right now?_

It was too late to stop it and now she was suddenly too worked up to embrace it and—

"You're ok." When had Victoria woken up? "I'm not good with these, I'm just going to make it worse." She admitted, blue eyes bright in the dark room. Yuri was seeing double, but she was pretty sure that Victoria was now nervous herself.

"I can't understand you." She said, reaching a hand out and Yuri shied back. "Yuri, English, please?"

She wasn't aware she was actually speaking any language, but she was almost hyper aware of the pain in her chest and the gasping for breath. She was also pretty sure she was crying, but her face and fingers felt too numb to know for sure.

"You can breathe." Victoria smiled, "I'm listening to you right now. You are not very good at it."

 _Don't make me laugh, it's already bad enough._

"I'm glad you can understand me." Victoria said, reaching out for her hand again and this time taking it. "Yakov said I used to be completely unreachable and incomprehensible when I would get like this. That was a long time ago."

She must have been regaining feeling in her face because she could feel Victoria's thumb brushing away tears.

"Did you sleep at all?" Yuri shook her head. "We will make sure you nap later, we will have time. You are breathing much better right now."

They were up half an hour early, because of Yuri's panicked breathing being enough to wake the queen of heavy sleepers from her dreams. Victoria ordered her to a bath before going off on her own to find something small for Yuri to eat.

Yuri brushed her hair out of her face with her fingers. She had cleaned her hair with conditioner and without shampoo, it would be easier to tie back and Victoria was beyond obsessive with making sure her hair was all the way back and politely tied up. She had thought jumpers was tough, but after three World Cup events with Victoria under her belt, she now knew how strenuous is was to keep up a clean enough appearance in the dressage ring.

 _"_ _A judge can eliminate you just because you look unpresentable, it is disrespectful."_

"Yulia will be at this one." Victoria informed her, coming back to the room with a banana. "Eat that, or I will not let you ride."

Yuri's face was decidedly green when she peeled the banana, Victoria suspected it was just the smell. One thing she had learned about the other woman in four shows was that she would get nauseous at the slightest smell of food.

Another thirty minutes to the grounds, Yuri had shown here before now. Victoria had hoped to take them to an event in Western Europe by now, but staying in Russia was convenient for more reasons than one.

Today, however, would be Yuri's first time against Yulia.

Yulia was topping the Eastern division, impressive in more ways than one but especially for her age. Victoria had not managed to keep up scores that high, but of course she had also been traveling more. When she had been fifteen, she spent a majority of her summer in the United States, showing in California and New York.

"You ready to warmup?" Victoria asked, peeking into their hay stall to see (with a frown) that Yuri hadn't seemed to have napped at all.

There was a gold and shimmery rope in her hands, impeccable for something that should have been dragged through the mud a million times. The lunge line was already hooked over Hika's face, Yuri realized. Her tired eyes took another few seconds to recognize that he had been tacked up entirely.

"I like doing that." She protested.

"You have not eaten or slept, why would I let you tack him?" Victoria sighed, tugging her along. "We are going to the far end of the grounds, no need to put you in a warmup ring."

"I won't crash into people, I can steer—"

"Because you hardly need the extra stress." Victoria corrected and dragged her and a confused Hika towards a grassy area at the far side of the grounds. She gave Yuri a leg up and patted Hika's neck before stepping back and letting Yuri warmup at her own pace. She was just there to make sure nothing happened, like Hika spooking at a child running by.

Nothing happened, thankfully.

Three shows had occurred between the JSF show and Yuri's fourth World Cup qualifier in Russia. Victoria knew enough to know that her student's biggest issue was still pushing through her nerves to get Hika going forward enough.

Yuri just had her freestyle and one more show between her and the cup, assuming she did ok.

Assuming she did more than ok, she would guarantee herself a spot in the top five overall, Victoria had been obsessively checking the standings.

"Yuri," Victoria called, pulling the other woman from her headspace. "Yuri, we need to get you changed. One more ride."

The bags under Yuri's eyes said way more than they needed to.

"I can get you an apple or something," She offered as she led the pair back. "You really need to eat something, you will drop dead. Maybe a coffee? You cannot possibly win looking like you are ready to fall. I—"

"Please, shut up." Yuri snapped and Victoria froze. "For five seconds, please? I know I look like shit, I know you want me to win. I know I can make the top five if I do this, please, you've said it enough. If you want to be in the top five so badly, do it yourself."

"Yuri—" Victoria's eyes widened and she stopped walking to look back at the rider.

"I quit for a reason, and it wasn't just Dima, ok? I quit because I can't do this. I crack under the pressure, and you putting more on me isn't going to get me anywhere—"

"Dismount."

"W-what?" Yuri was caught off guard.

"Dismount." She repeated. "I can't talk to you right if you are all the way up there."

Yuri obliged and Victoria noticed her hands were shaking. She took two steps forward so that she was able to see Victoria from the other side of Hika's head and placed a nervous hand on his nose.

"Are you upset because of the pressure? Or because of me?" Victoria asked.

"It's not you—"

"It's my pressure?"

"Why are you here?" Yuri stopped her, voice shaking. "I know about Pobeda's injury. I know about the video. But _you._ Why are you here? We've been doing this for months and I don't understand. You were the best rider in all of Russia, one of the top riders in the world and it's not like Russia is known for their equestrians. Figure skaters, maybe, gymnastics and ballerinas, sure—"

"You want to know why I came to train you?" Victoria frowned and cocked her head to the side. She stepped closer to the smaller woman and stared into her eyes with a furrowed brow.

"Y-yes. What is your goal here? Why me?"

"Because I couldn't ever give this up and I knew the moment I met you that you couldn't ever really give it up either. You went back to Japan and hopped on the first horse you found, just resigned to riding lame, retired school horses." Victoria's thumb brushed too close to Yuri's bottom lip, a thoughtful expression on her face while she watched the path of her thumb closely. "I can make it so you never have to give it up again."

"But you did give it up." Yuri protested weakly.

"Maybe I'm a little like Yulia. Maybe I love this sport because I can fix things."


	8. Chapter 8

Victoria has a soft cloth rubbing at the top of her boot. When Yuri looked down, it was only to watch the cloth slow it's circles. Finally, Victoria seemed content. Left hand still on the boot, she reached up to pat Yuri's thigh.

"Just like practice." Her eyes shone as she smiled and Yuri was positive she forgot to breathe.

Her gloved hand closed over the fair one on her lap and she smiled back.

"Want me to watch from the stands?"

"I don't want you to miss anything." The Japanese woman shook her head, looking out to the ring to see the prior competitor finishing up. "You can stay at the gate and watch from there."

Victoria nodded, giving the other woman's thigh a reassuring squeeze and trailing her hand down to tug the heel further down.

Yuri took a deep breath, trotting around the arena before she finally heard her music. She would be forever thankful that she convinced Victoria to keep her music remotely tasteful—her first suggestion had been very genuinely a song by Kanye West.

 _"_ _Imagine a piaffe pirouette to this part—"_

 _"_ _Victoria, I won't do a musical freestyle to any mix of 'Famous' by Kanye."_

They had settled somewhere in the middle of appropriate and inappropriate with a remix of Flo Rida's "Right Round" and Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Right Round."

X, halt, salute. The introduction was easy, 30 seconds from the Dead or Alive song to lead into everything.

 _You spin my head right round…_

Yuri had picked up her a collected trot just a heartbeat too soon, praying that it wouldn't be too noticeable. She was just a step before L when she asked for a canter stride and moved into her first technical component—a canter pirouette.

Most of the lyrics had been removed from the mix, something that Yuri and Victoria had actually agreed on.

"One-two, one-two, one-two, one-two, one-two, one, one one…". She whispered to herself, shifting Hika's weight. It was an added level of difficulty that the tempi changes were every stride on a circle.

Hika didn't bend off her leg quite right when she asked him to leg yield to quarter line, but he responded immediately when she pushed him back to the rail.

That was the only major fault she felt, though. Even when that first transition was early, it realistically was to the same beat in the music. It should have looked fine, _it did look fine, right?_

She saluted again and a wave of relief washed over her.

She stayed to thank the judge for a moment before trotting her horse back towards the entrance. That had easily been their best run, on her way out of the ring she leaned over and gave Hika an encouraging pat on the neck. Looking up, she saw Victoria beaming as they reached them.

Yuri was already grinning from ear to ear before she burst out into laughter. Victoria had grabbed Hika's face the moment they'd gotten through the gate and now he was drooling all over her white pants.

"You did so well." She was cooing. Yuri swung her leg over to hop off and the moment she hit the ground Victoria's attention was on her. "And you! How did it feel?"

"Incredible—"

"Good. That's how it looked." Minako took Hika's reins from Victoria's hands without any urging. Both young women turned their heads to her in confusion.

"I'll walk him out. Yuri needs to eat now she's not so nervous." Minako's eyes pointedly met Victoria's who nodded. "She'll say she wants seltzer, but get her a Sprite to keep her blood sugar up at least because good freestyle or not, she still won't eat a lot."

"I get nauseous." Yuri said quietly, turning her face away. The heat got to her because she wouldn't eat enough and she was too anxious and then the vicious cycle of being too nauseous to eat started.

Victoria dragged her towards the on-site food vendors. In her self-made tradition of forgetting something important, she'd not packed actual lunches. It didn't bother Yuri too much, it wouldn't give her any more or less ability to stomach it.

They were halfway there, dead center in the grounds, smack between two practice rings overcrowded with trainers and horses, when the announcement was made.

Yuri's mind went blank. The numbers sounded foreign to her ears—despite the fact Victoria had tried her hardest to teach her numbers in the 70-80 range in Russian—to the point the score didn't make any sense at all.

And _holy shit_ Victoria's lips tasted like vanilla and mint and they'd not only met Yuri's own too suddenly, but they also left far too quickly.

"I didn't know how else—" Their foreheads were pressed together now and the statement was breathless. "You did it. 87.13. That's it. There's only one rider left and you're in second. Yuri you just made the top five internationally." That sealed her fate at Worlds. Not only could she attend (though she had had the point needed to attend for quite some time) she had made it high enough in ranking to possibly win at year end.

On one horse. She had done this on one horse, one single chance.

Victoria's fingers were laced in her breeches' belt loops and her own hands were apparently fisted in the Russian's polo now but they were both grinning.

It took a moment of that, just staring at each other, before Yuri felt her face grow hot.

"People are staring." She whispered shyly, letting her hands smooth the polo out again before bringing them back to her sides. Victoria, however, tugged her hips closer and kissed her forehead before letting go and continuing to drag her by the hand towards the food.

"They're just jealous, have you looked at yourself in those pants?"

If it was possible, Yuri flushed deeper.

Yuri was always surprised to see such fatty foods at horse shows, especially in Russia where she felt like no-one seemed to weigh over 30kg. Victoria ordered for her, they had packed lunch for the last few shows and Yuri knew nothing of Russian street food.

Whatever it was in front of her, it was large and looked like glossy bread with rice in it.

"You have had them before." Victoria told her with a smile. "It's just piroshki, it's popular street food."

Yuri's nose wrinkled, it made sense that it was the same thing she had eaten before, it just looked a little more oily. So…street food.

"Do you know much Swedish?" Victoria asked, pushing a soda towards the other woman. Yuri had only taken three bites and already put her food down. "The cup is in Gothenburg this season."

 **AN -**

 **Thank you for the lovely review Queen Mo-Freakin! When I actually sat down to write this, I wasn't sure about gender bending it either. It was originally not going to be genderbent at all. I was just going to keep it all canon and I honestly don't know. I was really hesitant to do it, but it felt a lot easier and almost wrote itself like this. It was weird, but I'm glad you gave it a chance and wound up liking it!**

 **\- I will say that I think a lot of the reason it wrote itself in gender swap was because I based Victoria skill-wise off of two female equestrians (and Yulia is based off of one of them as well). So basically when I took into account the world record and all that, I placed Victor as someone very specifically in my mind and he kind of became she through that.**

 **This chapter is super short, initially it was part of the last chapter and I kind of started re-arranging because I liked the ending of chapter 7 better than ending it here. I will say that we are officially over halfway through with the story and there's still one show left before the World Cup final. Also, totally an oversight but realistically (because I was putting this in 2016) this would have been an Olympic year for them and it's not. I should have made the Cup take place in Nebraska, but I just had a brain fart and the chapters are already written. I don't feel like going back and changing it. Let's just pretend Rio didn't happen! ? [in case that doesn't post, it's the upside down smiley]**

 **I AM SO SORRY. I POSTED THE WRONG CHAPTER (AKA FOR THE WRONG STORY) AND JUST REALIZED IT!**


	9. Chapter 9

Last show of the season before Gothenburg, Yuri had already claimed her spot at the final so this should be a breeze. She just had to do as well as she had been doing…

So why was her heart racing?

"Yulia is here," She said, trying to keep her voice steady as she and Victoria carried bags into what was apparently Victoria's home. It was a fairly modest apartment, for someone like Victoria at least. Definitely a remnant of eras past, the standard Soviet style though it had certainly seen renovation.

"Yes." Victoria agreed with a smile. She was sifting through mail that had been left in organized piles on her table and Yuri had to wonder who was bringing it inside. As if reading her mind, Victoria turned. "Yakov, and maybe sometimes Lilia. They both have keys. I think, though," She gestured to a fourth pile, larger pile that seemed to just have dropped itself in the center of the table. "That Yulia has been the most recent visitor."

Yuri chuckled and peeked over at the table. Her eyes zeroed in on a set of keys.

"Oh," Victoria snatched them up and headed back towards the door. Yuri now noticed there was a line of key hooks conveniently by the door. "Yakov probably kept the engine running while I was away—"

"You can drive?" Yuri pressed, coming closer to the door to inspect the keys. "You have a car?"

Victoria snorted.

"All Russian medalists have cars—"

"No, you have a car but you say you don't drive." Yuri frowned. "Did you never get your license?"

Victoria worried at her lip, trying to think of something useful to say that didn't bring attention to the issue. She failed, there was no way around it.

"I couldn't." She said finally.

Yuri raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not..." Oh, what was the word now? "I'm not transgender."

They had gone over this before, with the books. Yuri had held firm in her promise to help Victoria's interest in reading into the LGBTQ+ community. They'd certainly gotten to know each other from the experience.

And Victoria had definitely gotten more comfortable in English from reading at a fairly academic level.

"No," Yuri agreed. That was something they had discussed at length, and also found more research and accounts on. Something in it had rattled the older woman and they'd chosen to dive deeper.

Yuri had suggested therapy, but Victoria had turned sheet white and refused so she hadn't pushed the issue.

She hadn't expressed an interest in being a man and she hadn't given any indication of a desire for neutral pronouns. That was something else Yuri wasn't going to push, she wasn't a therapist and she was only there to help her read.

"But I wasn't right, and I was on medication. I wasn't allowed—"

"You weren't allowed to drive?"

"No..." Victoria admitted. "Most of it was—it doesn't really matter. There was medication involved, that's the real reason. Not because of..."

There was awkward silence again that Victoria wished desperately that she could fill.

"You can't drive if you present certain illnesses." Victoria said finally. "I was on medications, it was decidedly best not for me to try."

Yuri wasn't at all placated by the response, but dropped the conversation. It wouldn't do well to push the matter when Victoria was already so plainly uncomfortable.

Instead, she made do unpacking. Victoria had a guest room, she took that to be her home for the duration of their stay.

Clothes went in the empty drawers with exception to those that needed washing. She had spied what seemed to be a washer behind the kitchen, hopefully Victoria had detergent.

The bed was already made up, she just patted down a few pillows and by the time she had emerged from the room maybe an hour later, Victoria was nowhere.

 _Oh._ Yuri spied the closed bedroom door next to her own. Hushed murmuring, which was just muffled enough that it could have been any number of languages, reached her ears. _She's on the phone._

She took her time to explore the living space. The front room was small, cozy, but not uncomfortably tight. There was a small shelf under the tv on the wall with a few dusty picture frames. The first was obviously Viktoria and it seemed to be a young Makka, cantering in a field. Yuri hadn't known Viktoria to do eventing on a grand scale, but judging from the protective vest, she had given it a try when she was younger.

The next was Victoria aged at least thirteen, legs a little too long for even Makka's belly but she was bareback and bridle-less with a wide grin on her face that matched her shining eyes. Makka's ears were perked forward.

The third held two photos of her late teens, Yuri recognized her Olympic jacket immediately. The medal ceremony hadn't happened yet in the first. Victoria was on top of a blanketed back with a smile and tears. Yuri forgot the interview she had read, but remembered that the blanket of blue roses that laid over the horse's neck was commissioned by a friend. People had thought it was tacky, but Victoria had laughed and claimed it was all in good fun. She only recognized Yakov because of Victoria's describing him.

In the same frame was the medal ceremony, Victoria with bright eyes holding up a gold medal.

The final frame was faded and laid face down, Yuri wouldn't have noticed it if she hadn't taken the time to look at the others.

It wasn't a horse that Yuri could recognize, though it looked enough like Pobeda except for the fact it was evidently a gelding.

The teenager in the photo resembled Victoria, but certainly wasn't her. She was in a black jacket with gold lining and had a smile on her face that certainly looking like the one Yuri had come to love. Her hair, though maybe it was just the quality of the photo, was somehow fairer than Victoria's, almost white instead of silver-ish.

The photo was as old as the frame, faded and kind of grainy.

Turning it around, Yuri realized the old frame didn't have a back, instead the photo was stuck into the frame with yellowing tape.

Something in Russian _Vainqueur de la Dame_ _(1983)_

Six years before Victoria had been born.

"That is my mother." Victoria confirmed, voice sounding tired. Yuri felt her face flush with heat at the embarrassment of being caught snooping. Turning around, she still held the frame in her hand. "I…took my name from him. Viktor."

She nodded towards the picture. Yuri looked down at the photo again.

"Albina Kozlova." While she didn't move to take the frame back, Victoria did move forward enough to let her fingers brush over the penmanship. "Viktor was bred in Russia. At the time, it was easier for the records to be in English or French."

She flipped it back over to look at it and Yuri found herself letting go.

"The only pictures Yakov didn't take, were the Olympic photos. Everything else…" Her voice trailed off.

Yuri took it to mean that this photo had also been taken by Yakov.

"Viktor was the first horse I rode. There's a photo somewhere in Yakov's extensive collection of my mother holding me on his back in the middle of a river." Victoria smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Yuri could recognize the differences between her smiles, these days. "His name…it is actually Lady's Victor, like a winner. I think that she didn't want to call him 'Winner' so she chose Victoire and assumed the name 'Viktor' from there."

Yuri's eyebrows knitted together.

"Maman was half," Victoria explained, setting the picture back down. "French."

"Oh…" Yuri nodded, watching as Victoria stepped away again and let her eyes wander over the other photos.

"I was six."

"You don't have to—"

Victoria held up a hand.

"She was sick always in that last year. No one told me what it was when I was young," She let her head turn to stare at the picture again. "I think that's really when Yakov started to take me in. I still lived with papa then, but Yakov was who I spent all my time with."

That was how they spent most of the night, Yuri trying to picture a young Victoria wrapped around her mother's leg or stoic in the show ring, anything to make her mother happy.

"Pobeda is named after him, too." Victoria said finally, "That's at least one thing we share."

By this point, it was dark and they hadn't remembered to cook or otherwise order food. Victoria had nestled herself into Yuri's side, the younger woman had been oblivious to it at first, and stayed there—awkwardly curled up in order to fit.

Yuri was pretty positive that it was her own stomach that rumbled, but she didn't want to move. Victoria seemed still lost in her own thoughts and completely content with the situation. A quick glance at the clock, if it was right, said it was only nine o'clock, but the apartment hadn't been occupied in months. It was far too likely that they would have to order something, places would close soon.

She ran her hands through silver hair and caught herself humming some silly old song her mother would hum when she cleaned.

"We should feed you." Victoria mumbled, sounding almost sleepy. Yuri's suspicion was confirmed when long fingers tugged at her own hand with a light scolding about putting other people to sleep.

Victoria up, yawning, and stretching like the sun was peeking through the curtains was a sight for sore eyes. The sweatshirt she'd thrown on while in her bedroom hung off her left shoulder and exposed her belly when her back arched. Cropped, black leggings showed off thighs and girl would probably kill for.

Blue eyes met Yuri's, but she only realized she'd been caught staring when Victoria gently rubbed her own bottom lip with her thumb, a smirk playing at her lips.

"S-sorry."

"Why?" Victoria cocked her head to the side, but the playful smile was still there.

"It's…it's rude to stare…" Yuri trailed off, shifting her gaze to the floor with a fiery pink blush the moment Victoria bit her lip.

"I watch you all the time," Was that a pout? Yuri didn't want to look up to find out. "Do you never want to watch me?"

A sudden clap startled her back to her senses not even a moment later.

"Food." And Victoria bounced off the couch like that, leaving Yuri in the living room alone wondering after her. "Lilia said she left something in the freezer, but you call her kind and she will stare you down" Her voice grew more faint, but was still audible from the other room.

"Did I do something wrong?" Yuri asked, when Victoria returned. The microwave sounded like it was running and she had also heard the oven beep in response to someone turning it onto preheat.

Victoria's smile faltered when she handed Yuri the glass of water, eyes wide.

"What?"

"You're upset." She said plainly, but inside her stomach was churning. "Was it the picture? I didn't—"

"Nothing is wrong." Victoria objected, leaning back into the armrest on the other side of the couch and crossing her legs. "Stop that."

She'd made her lip bleed.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you—" But Yuri had already fled, stomach no longer growling in hunger but gurgling with anxious energy. She'd locked the door to the bathroom behind her, heard the handle jiggle and a sigh. "Yuuuuuuuuuuuri?"

She spun the faucet and realized with a grimace she'd have to let it run. The kitchen must have been the major point of upkeep while Victoria had been away because the bathroom faucet had clearly not been touched in a while.

Finally, the cold water ran clear.

"Yuri, you have to eat."

She splashed her face, trying to feel and focus on the sensation.

There was something else, though, tugging her mind away. The phone buzzing in the back pocket of her jeans. She hadn't even realized she'd had it in her pocket or that she'd brought it to the bathroom until now.

So, heart racing, breaths labored, hands went and cold and only moments from a panic attack, Yuri swiped on the call.

"Mari—" She couldn't even attempt a greeting before a mess of her sister's and her former instructor's voices met her ear.

Victoria was leaned against the door when it flew open, causing her to lose her balance for a split second and almost tumble into Yuri. The younger equestrian's eyes were pooled with tears and the hand holding her phone trembled.

She unsteadily brought it to her chest, a poor attempt to mute the microphone.

"Victoria, it's Pobeda. A new stablehand must have mistaken her feed, she's colicking."

Victoria was frozen to the spot.

"Go! Pack your bags, do something!" Yuri gestured around.

"A ten hour flight…" Victoria was doing the math in her head. "She—"

"Victoria, _go_."


	10. Chapter 10

"How is it with Yakov?" Victoria asked. The image was poorly lit and pixelated, but Yuri knew she was resting in the stall with her mare. Pobeda had apparently suffered an impaction before, making it all the more likely to have happened again.

But she was well-rested, eating, and pooping like normal—as reported on by a relieved Victoria only six hours after landing.

"…Different." Yuri sighed, not looking forward to tomorrow where she would have to be up and ready to show with a different trainer.

"He is a good man." She heard Victoria promise, but the image froze again. Yuuko was so proud of her wifi, but couldn't keep it's signal boosted. She sighed and waited patiently for the image to sort itself while she polished her boots across her knee. "Pobeda, knock it off."

The image came back in full, clear as day. Victoria must have moved a little because the light was suddenly filtered ever so slightly better. Victoria's horse was resting, laying down, with Victoria stupidly laid against her side. Only stupid because something could happen, as Yuri had been reminded time and time again by Minako when she was found doing the same with Vicchan. The big grey had her head in Victoria's lap but had started nibbling at a pants pocket.

Yuri only noticed because the camera work was messy when Victoria tried to shove the face out of her pants.

"Ok, ok, one moment!" It was an exasperated exclamation while the camera angle bounced around again until Yuri's only assumption could be that she was being leaned against something. Suddenly she could see the whole of Victoria's body laid in the stall and the front half of Pobeda's.

Which gave her a minute to appreciate Victoria's handiwork.

"You braided her?"

"Yes." Victoria tightened the ribbon at the end of the French "pony" braided mane. Specks of blue dappled it and it took Yuri another minute to realize they were flowers. Victoria's own gaze swept over the braid again with a smile. "Nemophila."

"She's beautiful."

"And you." Victoria's focus shifted back to the phone. "You might look nice in blue, as well."

"Oh…no, it's ok—"

"Your hair is short, but we can certainly do something." Came the response. "I will look for pretty hairstyles we can do that will not be ruined by a helmet. But _Hika,_ he's dark. He might look nice in a pink, _oh_ we could put him in cherry blossoms next year!"

Yuri laughed out loud at the idea of Hika's seal-brown/dark bay coat against pink blossoms. It wasn't that it wouldn't be pretty, but so would yellow or even red.

At the sound, Victoria leaned forward and picked up the phone again, smile wide and eyes sparkling.

"Yakov was helpful today, thank you." He hadn't yelled, a pleasant surprise, but she had been worked hard. "Who was Tantsya?"

It was a name she had learned at the stables. A small, dusty halter hung on a bridle hook in the tent. Yakov had removed it so that Yuuri could place her own bridle on the hook, but when she'd asked he had only replied with "for good luck."

"My pony, before Makka." Victoria frowned. "Did someone say something?"

"Yakov mumbled it when he was moving an old halter."

"Oh…he still carries it?" She asked, something in her voice that Yuuri couldn't quite place. It sounded happy. "Mama bought it."

That explained it…maybe.

"Have you met Georgi yet? Emotional wreck, usually." Victoria paused for a moment as if to think about her word choice. "He competes in eventing right now, but he changes quite frequently."

"Oh. The one with the ex-girlfriend who does vaulting—"

"Ex? Again? Georgi, please!" Victoria laughed, genuinely. Pobeda seemed interested deeply in the conversation, stretching to try and nuzzle at the phone, but it was too far in front of her. Yuri laughed too.

"When do you think you'll be back?" She asked finally.

Victoria sighed and picked up the phone again with one hand while running the other through her hair.

"Probably after you show." She admitted. "It's a lot harder than I thought, making last minute travel plans. I was apparently really lucky the first two times, but it's a nightmare to try and catch a flight right now."

She had figured. Well, not really. Being it was still a summer holiday, it wasn't that far-fetched that it might take some time for Victoria to be able to make arrangements for a flight back. She showed tomorrow, though, and she was…anxious.

Not that _that_ was anything new.

"Yakov is really, really a good man." Victoria promised with a sadder smile. "If you're worried, you can hug him. He's all bark and no bite. Like…Like that man from all the horse movies. Oh what was his name…Mickey Rooney?"

Yuri sighed, but nodded nonetheless.

"He knows everything. If anything goes wrong, you tell him. And you have Yulia, too."

It didn't go wrong so much as it felt like it did. Yuri had needed to hang up soon after their call in order to get a full night's sleep. The next day they were at the grounds and the day after they were competing.

Those days came far too quickly for her comfort. While she didn't completely fall flat on her face, her limits were pushed. Hard. Yakov was not an easy trainer to even just warmup under. While he seemed to approve of her spending so much time with her horse, he didn't respond to any sort of riding particularly positively. He would nitpick, something that Mila—a rider Yuri was already familiar with—had assured her meant that he liked her.

"If Yakov yells, you're worth keeping." She had assured in much smoother English than Victoria and Yulia's combined. It made sense, Yuri had known her in the USEF.

But here she was, third place, nothing quite worth writing home over. She still hadn't placed first and she was still qualified for the final, but was it really worth going? Yakov had blamed it on a late start, she'd not taken her corners deep enough and misjudged her timing. She was short a step in her tempi-changes, apparently, but only because Hika had gotten lazy and changed from the front first.

And Yuri hadn't gotten after him at all—not much point in the show ring.

"That was bad." Yulia told her, in no uncertain terms, after final places were announced. "You're a shit show jumper, why are you even trying dressage?"

Yuri looked up from her spot sitting dangerously on an overturned bucket in Hika's stall. She had been hoping not to be found.

"Is Victoria coming back or what?" The young teen continued. "I can't believe she even thinks she can _be_ a coach. I guess she can't be that terrible if she has you placing, but still."

"Yulia!" A shrill voice cut through the air.

If Yuri had been upset by Yulia's presence, this was worse. Lilia had been, to her understanding, a vaulting coach and choreographer for many years post her retirement from the sport. Initially, following her retirement, she herself had taken an interest in dressage. However, since a wrist injury in her forties, she had decided coaching was a better use of her time. She had mostly been involved in vaulting, but according to Victoria, her naturally strict and short attitude was called for when Yulia hit peak teen angst the past year. They shared some similarities supposedly. Yulia was used to being the best of her age group/level and had chosen to pit herself against adults in Grand Prix to get a challenge.

She had failed at the start of the season, but since Lilia had stepped in to…"nurture" the natural talent, Yulia had begun to work much harder—and had actually managed a spot in the final.

"Sportsmanship is far kinder to your features." The older woman spoke cooly. Yuri wondered if her nose was actually upturned or if it just appeared that way because she kept her chin raised.

Yulia's expression soured and she cast one last dirty look in Yuri's direction before she disappeared.

"Yulia has plenty to learn."

Lilia's English was somehow most British-sounding of all of them, but Victoria had been sure to let Yuri know that she had spent almost two decades in Denmark—"I think it's why her marriage failed"—and had picked up no less than five languages in her lifetime.

"She should hardly insult you. I rather think she admires you."

Lilia was already gone before the statement had even begun to trickle into Yuri's brain.

She turned back to her phone, hoping Victoria had answered her text. She knew almost immediately that she hadn't, though. There was no reason to. Only the day before, Victoria had let her know that she was at the airport catching a last minute flight back to Russia. If she was on the plane now, she probably wouldn't answer. Really, she was probably sleeping.

* * *

 **A/N so apparently chapters 10-11 didn't post correctly yesterday and I didn't even think to double-check because I've never seen anything so incorrect in my life.**

 **Anyways.**

 **Here ya go!**

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	11. Chapter 11

In a last-second decision, Yuri pulled away from their embrace just far enough to kiss Victoria's cheek. She had caught the look in Victoria's eyes the moment's they'd slammed into each other—no, literally slammed—at the airport.

She was already hyper-aware of the attention Victoria was getting after the public affair made of the show grounds incident. She didn't want any more attention brought to them, especially attention that was potentially harmful to Victoria.

The woman in question looked a little confused, a frown on her face. Yuri tried her best to return it with a look that said "not here" but promised they'd say hello properly come the time and place. It didn't communicate well by the looks of it, or otherwise Victoria was horribly oblivious.

Yakov had driven, Yuri wasn't keen on her first attempt at driving being towards a busy airport so she opted for the safest bet. He was waiting just outside and Yuri pulled the carry-on into the trunk and chose the backseat for herself. Instead of taking the front, Victoria exchanged a few short words with Yakov in their mother tongue and sat next to Yuri.

Victoria pressed a quick kiss to Yuri's temple and made eye contact with Yakov through the rearview mirror.

"What do you mean?" She asked, squeezing a very confused-looking Yuri's hand. She wasn't about to have this conversation in English, no matter how much she hated leaving Yuri out of things.

"I said what I mean." Yakov's English wasn't great anyways, though sometimes Victoria felt it might be better than her own. "I saw your father at the show. So did Yuri, even if she didn't know it."

"What did he say?" She tried to keep her voice light, she really did. Except, Yuri was already onto them. The younger woman's face contorted into a frown as if the words all made sense to her and Victoria knew she'd been gone a bit, but that was not enough time to learn Russian. When Yuri left she still couldn't use cases…or say anything besides water, vodka, and horse.

Useful words, but not the topic of conversation.

"Nothing. Asked how his horses were." _But he didn't ask how his only child was?_ "He said you've separated your accounts."

Finally, there was some hint of approval in Yakov's voice. For once in her life, Victoria felt like something she did had actually been considered "right."

"I'm proud." And then, switching to English, "You have work to do with her and that horse. He is something."

And Victoria heard it, in his voice. She'd worked her whole life to train a horse like Hika. Yakov had essentially trained every horse she'd ridden, even if he'd never sat on their back. He knew exactly what to do and how to make her do it, but in that sense even Pobeda wasn't hers.

Yakov was incredible. He had her trained to first level in less than a year, climbing beyond that even faster. She knew Grand Prix movements before she'd even shown third level and they'd just practically skipped to that.

Hika…Hika had done Prix Saint George, so he wasn't entirely her horse either. Just, she took pride in making him what he was.

"Yuri did the hard work." Victoria smiled fondly at her. "I just shouted."

They were headed to the stables first, before Victoria could even put her stuff down. She couldn't say that she minded, though. It was good to be back. Just half a day in the air was enough to make her desperate for the stables all over again. Even just the smell of horses was enough to soothe the stress of knowing her father had reached out to Yuri.

"There you are." Yulia sneered the moment they opened the doors.

Victoria took in her expression for a moment before placing a hand on her head and patting it. Yulia was nothing if not secretly affectionate. She was just a kid and she had struggled a very long time to get where she was. Victoria always forgot that Yulia very literally came from nothing.

"You've been working off your lessons again." Victoria commented, picking a piece of hay out of the short, blonde hair.

Taking in the rest of the teen's appearance, she noted a sunburn high on her cheeks and shoulders. Freckles were barely poking in underneath. She should've had enough from prize money to hold out until after World's.

But the answer was still right in front of her. Yulia slapped her hand away and spun on her heel. She was wearing shorts and they were short enough to reveal red, rubbed-raw and scabbed lines in the back of her knees. Down at her ankles, she was moving too stiffly to be comfortable in her muck boots.

"You shouldn't break in new boots mid-season, Yula." Victoria called after her, only to receive the middle finger before the teen disappeared into the stables again.

"Her old ones wore through the sole, Vika." Yakov sighed. "And she's too small to fit in your old ones."

Yuri looked between the two utterly lost and confused. Victoria realized then that she had almost instinctively spoken in English, that Yulia had responded in the same, but that Yakov had switched to Russian again.

"She doesn't fit in my old boots," She explained to Yuri, "She's shorter than I was. They weren't broken in for someone her height."

"But why does she have to work for lessons? Isn't she sponsored?" Yuri frowned.

It wasn't as if she was completely oblivious to the financial difficulties facing equestrians everywhere. It was an expensive sport. Her own family could barely afford to keep her pony, but they managed. She worked off some lessons in high school and all college riders had to do basic chores—they took turns—but that was it. She hadn't been sponsored until college, though. It wasn't a lot, it didn't pay for a whole horse, but it supported some of her showing outside of the team.

"Yes," Victoria sighed, "But she doesn't live close, so it goes to travel expenses or living expenses when she stays with Lilia. The majority goes towards training fees, registrations, and obviously the cost of shipping horses. She doesn't have a leather shop sponsor though, boots are expensive. It would've been pulled from her winnings and she uses those to—"

Victoria paused, wondering if it was appropriate to continue but they would all be training together anyways. It was best to confess now.

"Yulia supports her grandfather, so chances are she's manipulated her sponsorships and small prize winnings to pay for boots and to support her family."

"Yulia is not the best because she wants to be," Yakov said gruffly. "She has to be."

The best she was. Yulia was notorious, even abroad. She had been competing at meter height at the age of ten, far too dangerous for someone as small as she must have been. Yuri would be lying if she said she hadn't seen photos, the poor girl's legs barely fit around the pony.

Yuri wanted to speak to Victoria alone, but now obviously wasn't the time. When she came out of her thoughts, it was to Victoria and Yakov speaking in rapid Russian back and forth. She followed as they entered the stables.

One thing she had come to love about the Russian national team headquarters was their large, open stalls. Everything felt so light and airy, nothing like the small farm she'd been raised in or even what she trained at in the states. There was a hayloft but even still the ceilings below were high. There was an arch at the entrance. The stall doors slid, but the bars at the tops of the walls of the boxes didn't extend to the heightened ceiling, leaving a much more open feeling.

Hika was munching comfortably on hay in a corner. Yulia was hauling it down the aisle, adamant that she not use a wheelbarrow. Yuri wanted to offer help, but the glare she received when Yulia lifted her head was like a dagger straight through her. Instead, she busied herself aimlessly playing with Hika through the bars.

"Leave him in peace, he's worked hard." It was Victoria, she'd returned and affectionately wrapped her arms around Yuri's middle from behind. The smaller woman could feel Victoria's chin on her shoulder. "So have you."

Yuri hummed. Her hands came to rest on Victoria's, sliding further up her arms until Yuri's own arms crossed her body. She leaned her head sideways against Victoria's, relishing in the semblance of peace before everything would pick up again. They had vets to call in, records to sign, a microchip to confirm, coggins to pull again because for some reason Hika's updated paperwork _wasn't updated enough_. The farrier had to come in again before they left, couldn't forget that.

"So it's true, then." Yulia's voice interrupted her thoughts. The weight on her shoulder lifted and the arms around her loosened. "You're gay."

It was all said very plainly, as if the teen didn't actually care to know but wanted to say something anyways. Yuri didn't even have an answer. Victoria obviously wasn't saying anything. She just stood there, staring.

"I don't care. Just keep it away from me."

Yuri's heart sank a little. Victoria had worked so hard…

"Not because you're gay." Yulia had the decency to correct in an almost irritated growl, "Because your fucking…whatever you're doing is bothering the horses."

The breath Yuri was holding released.

Victoria seemed far less tense now. Yulia was nothing if not genuine. If she was bothered by public displays of affection and nothing else, it didn't bother Yuri. They were awkward sometimes, more so when you're the only one stuck watching it.

Still, the young teen looked like she wanted to say something else, a new question in her eyes. Her mouth opened for a long moment before she frowned, pressing her lips together in a firm line. Her eyes narrowed in a suspicious glare and she spun on her heel.

"Should I tell her she has shavings on her shorts?" Victoria asked, deliberately loudly.

They received a string of loud expletives in response.

"I thought she'd never leave."

Yuri laughed, though it turned into a squeak when she was spun around. Pressed up against the stall, her eyes met Victoria's before their lips pressed together gently.

A heavy, warm breath reached the back of Yuri's neck and she yelped in surprise, jumping further forward and into Victoria's arms. The older woman laughed, head falling back. Her platinum hair easily reached her butt like that, Yuri thought to herself, though she wasn't looking. She'd become too focused on the smile.

"Yuri, your spook is cuter than any green pony." Victoria finally chuckled, looking back at the woman in question. The grin was still plastered to her face and she bumped their noses together.

Only a little longer until Worlds.

They could to this.


	12. Chapter 12

Yulia wiped some sweat from her brow. Hauling feed bags from their rented trailer had been a nightmare. Luckily, this time they'd shipped horses via plane. Driving them internationally was a bitch with quarantine if her own experiences were anything to go by.

Tigresa snorted as she passed, hoof dragging at the ground of the stalls that had been put up for competitors impatiently. On her schedule, this was dinner time. They were still adjusting her over.

Yulia sighed.

She had traveled ahead of everyone else for adjustment. Victoria and Yulia would just be arriving today, had arrived this morning actually. Yulia was just...working too hard to stop back at the hotel to say hello.

"Fuck. Ok. You'll eat in an hour, but it's not me feeding you." One of the actual hands was in charge of that today. She was supposed to head out and get some rest. Yakov worried she was overworking herself.

Her funky, almost-dappled brown coat looked even more splotchy in the funny artificial light they'd thrown up to light the tent. On more than one occasion she'd wondered how a horse that looked more like a leopard when clipped managed to be named Tigress.

"Ok. I have to head out." Yulia told the mare, reaching through the bars to rub her nose. "You be good, yeah?"

The mare nickered softly in reply, still looking peeved that her dinner wasn't ready yet. She could be a brat when she wanted to be.

Exiting the tent through the opposite side was a mistake. In her defense, their horses were being kept at the very far side away from the vehicles. She walked through the main barn on that journey, a second mistake. It gave the opportunity for people to see her—specifically pony brats.

Yulia wasn't much older than some of them. None of them were showing, though. It came down to the real root of the problem. They were here because mommy and daddy could afford to send them for fun. They were spectators who happened to have a trainer here or maybe their parents owned a Grand Prix horse they didn't ride. Horse people did that.

Yulia didn't have a pony girl phase. Not in the same way. She'd ridden two ponies ever in her life. One was just Makka, when she was learning to ride dressage. The other was a small jumper pony she'd ridden when she was twelve. She was also a hand-me-down, this one from Mila. She couldn't afford to lease her, however, and stopped riding her halfway through the season.

Mila's family was well off, but they weren't moneybags the way Victoria's family was. They needed to lease the pony to keep her.

"You're Yulia—"

She gritted her teeth and pushed past the girl in her way.

"Wait!" Now all seven of them were following her. Great. That had previously been her lucky number, but her luck was apparently running out.

They were asking questions, mostly along the lines of whether she was just riding Victoria's horse while she was unofficially taking a break from competition or if this would be a permanent mount. She wished she knew the answer herself, but she ignored it. God, did they even know when to stop—

Yulia had no sooner reached the opening to the outside than she heard te unmistakable hum of a dirt bike. People rode them all the time, it wasn't a surprise. Showgrounds were a lot of ground to travel on foot. More often than not, adults used golf carts. It was only people her age and younger that took bikes and normally she'd see it in the states.

"You wanted a ride to the cars, right?" Yulia had literally no idea who this person was but she wasn't going to question it.

"Oh, hey, yeah thanks." She said, hoping her voice didn't give away the fact she had little to no clue what was happening. She just needed to get out. Fast. "You—uh—got here faster than I thought."

Was that a smirk?

The girls behind her were whispering something and Yulia took all of two seconds to decide that the lack of space on the stupid bike wasn't going to deter her. She'd done dumber shit riding horses that should've gotten her killed. She'd survive this. The cars were less than a kilometer away and really if she cared she could just run it.

Yeah, no, she swung her leg over, realized in that moment there was a second pair of seat pegs, thanked the heavens, and held onto the stranger for dear life. Maybe later she'd consider her life choices. If "I've done dumber on horseback" was her standard, maybe it was too low.

"You can let go now." The girl's voice was amused. They were next to a really nice-looking black truck. "Unless you can tell me what car is yours."

Oh. When had they stopped moving?

"I was going to call a cab." Yulia said indignantly.

"You don't remember me." A smirk tugged at the corners of the stranger's lips.

Yulia blinked in surprise, taking the other girl in for the first time since she'd been essentially kidnapped. Well, really she had allowed herself to be. Anything to get away from pony kids, she couldn't stand them.

Now upright, she wasn't much taller than Yulia stood, honestly she would be surprised if they had a height difference at all. She had dark eyes, but they were sparkling with a hint of amusement. Her skin was tanner, but everyone's was compared to Yulia's, and her hair was dark, thick, and—

"I like your hair." She had said it aloud and as soon as she realized it, she wanted to die.

"My parents aren't really fans." Her expression didn't change from muted amusement.

Yulia stared at it a little longer. She hadn't seen many girls actually go for the undercut look. Victoria had done something similar when she was younger, but not as short at the side and she'd chopped everything. Yulia's own hair was a bob. This girl had her hair braided over her left shoulder leaving the small patch on the right side of her head and towards the front pretty obvious.

"Why did you help me?"

The brunette shrugged and glanced over her shoulder as if looking to see if they'd been tracked.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" Yulia snapped, crossing her arms.

She didn't roll her eyes, but Yulia would have. Instead, she just painted the small smirk back on her lips and leaned back against the truck.

"You don't remember me." She said again and Yulia shook her head. "Your first year with Yakov. We were both in camp together."

Faint memories came back, hazy with age and distractions. Yulia had been more focused on proving herself worthy of Yakov's time and effort, she couldn't afford the camp or his training without it. In all honesty, even using every ounce of energy in her body wouldn't bring back names of fellow students because she hadn't bothered to get to know any of them.

"I was eleven." It came out as a growl.

"Ten, I think." She offered a hand. "Oksana Altin."

There was silence for a few minutes, the sun slowly set in the distance and flooded the city with orange and pink.

"You had fallen off." Oksana said suddenly, not looking at her. Instead, she was still focused on the city below with all of its tourist trap. "Right over some big bay horse's head when he bucked. You didn't even hesitate, just hopped up and smacked the horse on the nose with a shout while Yakov yelled at you for getting back up at all before being checked for injury. You got back on without his help and continued over a course of cross rails as if you hadn't fallen at all."

Sounded about right, that memory was still pretty clear in Yulia's mind.

"Are we going to be friends or not?"

Yulia blinked in surprise for multiple reasons. First of all, it was a little late for that question. She'd already taken a ride from a stranger, lesson number one from stranger danger. Secondly, she was aware of her reputation amongst Yakov's students. If Oksana knew her from camp, there was a chance she knew that.

"I'm serious." She said with a shrug. "You seem cool. Most equestrians are a little crazy."

 _Crazy_?

"I'm not crazy." Yulia snapped and the other girl actually laughed.

"I just said you weren't."

"Oh." Was her brilliant reply.

"Come on. I'll give you a ride back." Oksana offered. Yulia's eyes fell to the bike again in obvious distaste. "The truck is mine."

Oh. That was much safer.

"Yuri!" Victoria laughed as she wiped whipped cream off of the other's nose playfully. "Be more careful with your food, love, it's getting all over."

Yuri blushed, but still took another sip of hot cocoa. They'd gone to where Hika was being kept first thing in the morning when they landed, forgoing sleep. Yuri had ridden him for about forty minutes just to make sure he'd stayed in shape (Victoria, she knew, had been paying Yulia to lightly exercise him). Then, they'd gone back to the hotel to shower and nap but that meant they were awake at odd hours now. They had time to get on schedule, a week in fact, but it was still annoying.

Their hands slid together to interlock without really thinking. Fortunately, this wasn't Russia and Victoria was always much more open outside of her home country. Inside, she was affectionate differently. Yuri noted her girlfriend—that was the word they'd decided to use in the long run—was very into gifts. A lot of her small affections were in small prices. The hot chocolate, for instance, was a way of showing that she cared. Yuri didn't like caffeine late at night and she couldn't stand it when she had an upcoming competition. It made her nerves so much worse.

It was also what happened with Hika. She'd only just discovered by accident that Hika was hers. Victoria had misplaced his most recent coggins and Yuri had gone to fetch the copy from Yakov's office. Her name was on the ownership line and it had struck her as odd only until she realized that Victoria _had_ been very suspicious in holding secrets. She and Yakov were often whispering in Russian about something that painted worry on Victoria's face in a way Yuri know only her father did.

"I want yo buy you something." Yuri announced quietly. She tilted her chin to look up at the woman beside her. "Can we go shopping?"

Wrong question. Apparently, and Yuri wasn't sure how it slipped her notice but Victoria loved shopping. They were running between shops—that was fine because she needed souvenirs and gifts for her family anyways, plus Yulia for watching Hika—for at least two or almost three hours. All that time, though, and she still hadn't found _the_ gift for Victoria.

"Oh." Her eyes caught sight of a window to her right. "Hey, can you run back to the tea shop?"

Victoria cocked her head to the side.

"I just…I want another hot chocolate—I'm not super cold, no worries!" She promised and, albeit shy, she reached up to peck the other woman on the lips reassuringly. "Just want some. I'm going to keep looking."

The jewelry shop was small and for that she was thankful. The tea shop was probably closed by now, realistically, and even if it wasn't it was hardly far. The Russian woman would return in, at maximum, ten minutes. Yuri's eyes scanned the displays hastily.

There wasn't anything particularly striking. It had to be light enough to ride in, because riding and being around horses with some jewelry was dangerous. She found herself, at the end of three minutes of pacing, staring awkwardly at a case of rings.

 _They were sitting on the bed in their suite in St. Petersburg. They had only had one show since coming to Russia, the weekend prior. It had gone fine, surprisingly fine actually. Nothing had exploded or backfired. Yuri was still going strong._

 _The tea in her hand had been courtesy of Victoria's doting when Yuri had said she felt homesick. It wasn't anything actually from home or even particularly Japanese (in fact, it was just an average black tea) it was just the thing that Victoria thought might help. She wasn't wrong, there was something soothing in its warmth even if she hadn't sipped from it._

 _The look in the other woman's eyes though, when she jumped up and raced to make it…_

 _"Victoria, why do you get so…" Paranoid? Yuri didn't exactly want to say that. It just sounded bad. "Excitable when—"_

 _"Is it too much? I can stop." Victoria said hastily. There it was again, that look in her eyes. It was almost panicked, but not quite. She was just overbearingly willing to please. Yuri so much as suggested a break for water or to keep Hika and herself interested and the other woman was running over with a water bottle or treats or just tripping over herself to give them something else to do._

 _"No, I don't want you to stop. It's part of who you are." Yuri said calmly. "I want to know if there's a reason you do it?"_

 _The other woman chewed her lip, a habit Yuri suspected that she had learned within the past year of them working together._

 _"You can tell me, I won't—"_

 _"I am…worried," Victoria cut her off quietly. "You…there is no winning in relationships, no records, nothing."_

 _"You want to know you're doing a good job." Yuri leaned forward._

 _"I want something to work for." Blue eyes fell to the lips in front of her._

 _"Isn't this something to work for?"_

"Can I have this one?" Thankfully, most people knew English. Cities were a blessing that way, even if they were a little busy for her taste.

The woman gently smiled at her as she went through the process of ringing her up. It was going to be a bitch on her credit fee, the overseas charge, but she'd deal. One day she'd just get a better card, but until then.

She was outside with enough time to wait for Victoria to return.

 _"Yuri?" Victoria was half in riding pants already, a polo emblazoned with the symbol of Yakov's stables was on but zipped open in the front and she was tugging her hair into a messy pile on the top of her head. There was so much going on that, at first, Yuri wasn't sure where to look. "About last night…what you said."_

 _"Yes?" Yuri cocked her head to the side curiously._

 _"I want to work towards this." Her hair was successfully knotted into some sort of fake bun and her hands now had nothing to do but fall to her sides. "But…I want it to be real."_

 _"This is real, Victoria." The Russian woman's lips quirked in a smile at the little wrinkle that Yuri got in the center of her forehead. It happened whenever she was particularly confused at something._

 _"No._ Real _." She emphasized._

 _For the life of her, Yuri couldn't put it together. Unless Victoria had some philosophical determination of what was quantifiably real and what wasn't, she had no idea what was going on._

 _Oh…wait, yes she did._

 _"You mean serious." Yuri sighed in relief at her own realization, but now the Russian woman looked confused. "You mean you want us, this to be—yes, yes I know what you're saying. That's fine. You could have told me that at the beginning, but it's not as if we haven't kind of been…I'm rambling."_

Yuri was surprised when her hands didn't shake as she unceremoniously shoved the bag at Victoria in exchange for the hot chocolate. Her girlfriend looked surprised to say the least, but Yuri wouldn't make eye contact. She instead tried to hide her blush with her drink and looked out at the lights in the window across the street.

Confused by the strange behaviour, Victoria glanced down at the bag now in her hands and opened it. Half of her expected it to be lingerie at this point. Yuri was a nervous wreck 80% of the time, in her own opinion, but she was rarely this flustered.

She blinked when her fingers closed around the box.

"Yuriiiiiiiiii, what is this?" Her voice sing-songed the way it did when she was just being playful, but right now it was off. It was trying to hide an emotion that Yuri couldn't place well enough to know if it was good or bad.

"A ring." She mumbled against the lip of the cup top.

She'd had a concussion before, only once. She had fallen off over a jump the first time she competed at meter height. There was no rhyme or reason to it, she was just too scared to actually do her job right. She hit her head on the jump standard and still managed an injury despite her helmet.

Given this time she didn't have a helmet, Yuri was positive her head slamming against the brick behind her may have given her some serious damage.

"Why?" Victoria demanded.

"I—" When Yuri finally met her eyes, they were hard and serious. She took a deep breath. "Because. I want to make you happy and I want to make you proud this month and whatever else. You've been dealing with a lot alone for a long time and I know you don't believe me when I remind you that you don't have to."

The other woman opened her mouth as if to protest, but said nothing.

"I promise, ok? This is serious."

Victoria blinked at her, silent still, before she leaned back a fraction. The space let Yuri breathe at least a little more comfortably, but she was focused on Victoria's movements. Bag held between her legs, she reached up to unclasp a necklace. Yuri hadn't noticed her put it on, but knew sort of what it was. Victoria tended to wear something on a chain when they flew or when there was a competition even if Yuri didn't know what pendant was on it. She'd always assumed it was just one of those things you did for good luck.

One end of the chain in her mouth, she slid the pendant off only to open Yuri's hand and put it in.

"That is yours." She said solemnly, taking the chain out of her mouth. After a few moments of finagling with the bag and ring box she managed to string the new ring onto it and replace it around her neck. It looked pretty there, think and wiry. It matched its owner in that it was unique. Small diamonds were embedded in little sections, almost like branches off of a tree. In white gold, it looked frosty against the pale skin of Victoria's neck and reflected in the streetlights.

Yuri was captivated until she realized Victoria was staring at her expectantly.

"It was my mother's." She said softly as Yuri inspected it. The ring was somehow simple and way too over the top at the same time. It was also white gold but from a time that most rings would have likely been yellow gold. The band was thin, built for delicate hands that Yuri somehow doubted any equestrian—Victoria's mother included—ever had.

And…miraculously it fit when Victoria slid it on.

"The diamond is too big so I wore it on a chain." The other woman explained. "Hard to ride in."

"It's beautiful. Thank you."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Cool! Now that that's all fixed!**

 **Comment & Subscribe & Like. I really love the comments. Also letsbringmomback is my Tumblr. I reply there as well. **

**Chris makes an appearance in the next chapter!**


	13. Chapter 13

_"_ _Chris, where are you going?" Victoria laughed, catching her friend's shoulder as he passed her. A stunning white grin was tossed over his shoulder at her._

 _"_ _Grabbing Deca." He said by way of explanation. Lifting his half-full glass he added, "And another. You want?"_

 _"_ _Why are you grabbing Deca?" Victoria's brow furrowed. She left her company. Georgi was fawning over some rider from Denmark anyways. Following Chris, she held his glass of champagne as he unlatched the stall._

 _"_ _We're having a water cup race." Chris smiled. "Except with this, thank you."_

 _He took the glass from her hand only to hand it back when he finished it. Deca was essentially his children's pony, only he was a solid 16hh and in no way a pony. Now, the horse just rode around in trailers and tagged along as an extra expense for plane trips because his current mount was skittish and easily upset. Many riders that could spare the expense brought a trailer buddy, but Chris kind of had to._

 _"_ _We've been drinking!" Victoria's eyes widened in surprise._

 _"_ _We've ridden far more intoxicated than this, Vika." Chris reminded her of something from years past, when they were little more than teenagers. "Decadence is fine. Grab Makka and join in."_

 _Weighing her options, Victoria complied after only a moment of hesitation. Makka was short but ever-willing. Victoria's legs barely fit anymore, once they'd tacked up, but it was still somehow like coming home. Measuring in at only 15.3, she was technically larger than a pony but not by much._

 _They weren't the only ones who had run back to tack up. Victoria recognized no horses other than her and Chris', which meant none of them were major competitors, and there were three others total._

 _All of them show jumpers._

 _"_ _Nikiforova has an unfair advantage!" One of them laughed. Well, she didn't have a full glass, but Chris was remedying that for both of them already._

 _"_ _She's in one of our saddles." Chris assured. "And her stirrups are short."_

 _Oh, they meant because of her seat. That was silly of her._

 _One of the other riders was staring. Short black hair cut just above her shoulders and eyes hidden behind glasses. She was holding the reins to something that looked more green than should be used in a water cup race. Her helmet was already on her head and Victoria immediately realized she didn't have one._

 _"_ _Relax." Chris reminded, "You can use mine if you're nervous."_

 _Of course she was nervous. She rode in a hat half the time, but she hadn't been on Makka in a long while, especially not with this stirrup length._

 _"_ _Who is that?" They traded off on glasses again so she could pull the helmet on._

 _"_ _Katsuki? She's a rider from…either Japan or the US, but she rides in the US." Chris explained. "Young, still in university. She was on Dime A Dozen today, but he came up lame after the last jump in the first round. Poor thing just barely kept it together, she took the last jump and he landed wrong, but he didn't seem unsound until she slowed him to a trot. Honestly, she would have won—"_

 _She had heard, of course. One of the jumper riders trotted through their closing timer because of a bad trip. The horse hadn't been too badly injured, but everything had to be put on pause for fifteen minutes while the vet made sure he could move._

 _"_ _We're friendly, if you want me to put in a good word."_

 _"_ _Shut up." Victoria told him affectionately. Not wanting to hurt the aging Makka's back, she used the fence to mount instead of mounting from the ground. Chris held their glasses and then she let him get up. Deca was too tall though, and even with Chris' natural height his boyfriend had to give him a leg up._

"We did what?" Yuri's face was pale.

She and Victoria had stumbled upon a small cafe on their way back to the hotel from their exploring. They'd gone in with the intention of grabbing dessert (Victoria was in a spending mood post-rings) but it had turned into chaos. Yulia had been there, oddly enough with someone. Yuri almost didn't recognize Oksana Altin.

Not long after, because Victoria had posted on her Insta story, other riders joined up. Most of them were people she knew fairly well, if only through her former training mate. They'd decided to tell stories about previous years, though, and it had turned into chaos.

"I really stared at you?" She asked, voice small and cheeks flushed pink.

Victoria smiled apologetically.

"Oh, sweetheart," Chris laughed. "You did more than just stare."

 _"_ _You're staring at her ass, Vika, what's up?" Chris halted beside her. Their simply trotting races had devolved into literal champagne relays. Her own head was fuzzy, but not so bad she couldn't ride Makka. The old pony wouldn't do anything to misbehave, the worst she had to consider was her own affect on her._

 _Victoria didn't even blush._

 _"_ _You said she was a jumper?" She frowned. "Yes?"_

 _"_ _Are you telling me you're staring at her because you think her seat is off?" Her best friend burst into a laughing fit. "I can't understand you."_

 _"_ _Not 'off,'" Victoria pouted. "Deep."_

 _"_ _So she doesn't always ride with a light seat." Chris kissed her temple and Victoria playfully shoved him off. "That happens, kind of the point in water cup."_

 _The woman was smiling at something Mila was saying to her. Mila was trashed, Victoria wasn't particularly close to her but you didn't have to be to know. Mila was kind of always like that at this sort of thing. It was why Yakov didn't come to this sort of thing. He'd be at the sponsor gala in a few weeks time, but no more after parties for him._

 _"_ _Victoria!" Mila called, just as she was about to respond to Chris. "Let's jump hay bales!"_

 _"_ _Oh, I need more alcohol." Chris laughed and gestured to his boyfriend a few strides away. Victoria let go of Makka as he was tugged from her hand by Chris and handed off._

 _"_ _What did you say her name was?" Victoria watched as the other woman dismounted and led her horse back towards the tents with someone else at her side._

 _"_ _Aren't you glad you tagged along?" Chris chuckled, watching her eyes. "Her name is Yuri, Vika, try not to forget it again."_

 _It was true that she wasn't even supposed to be here. This was some random event in America that she's really only gone to because Yulia and Mila were there. Plus, she's used it as an excuse to see Chris. Their shows didn't line up, not with them being in two different disciplines._

 _Yulia and Mila were only here for a short time as it were. Business connections in Florida asked them to try a few horses on for size. Mila was actually Grand Prix, Yulia came along for the experience and showed in the children's._

 _Victoria just...was there._

 _"_ _Vika, come on!" Mila waved again._

 _Someone she didn't recognize was already hauling out bales and someone was grabbing standards to pull poles across. This was suddenly all very reminiscent of her childhood messing around at the stables._

 _"_ _Whose idea was this?" Chris chuckled as they made their way over._

 _"_ _Yuri's!" Mila sang. "She's so sweet, kinda quiet."_

 _"_ _Not everyone is as drunk as you." Victoria laughed. "Whose team are you on?"_

 _She felt Chris nudge her but didn't respond except for a light flush across her cheek._

 _"_ _No one's. I'm going to judge." Milo smiled. "Yulia is Yuri's partner."_

 _That Yulia was even here was a shock. Victoria hadn't noticed her the whole night, and she certainly didn't drink._

 _Hopefully._

 _"_ _I'm right here, asshole." Yulia snapped in near-perfect English. "And I'm only doing this because Mila offered to sneak me a drink if I did._

 _"_ _I think," Chris cut in, "I should be on Yulia's team. She's shortest and I'm tallest. It'll make up for itself."_

 _"_ _Oh, fuck off! I'm on Yuri's team!"_

"I didn't..." Yuri's voice was small. "Victoria!"

"You didn't even let us get to the part where you two totally tripped over each other." Yulia grumbled. "It was disgusting."

"Not like that!" Victoria was quick to reassure her, shooting a sharp glare at both Yulia and Chris. "Not like that. I fell and knocked you over. Nothing happened."

"What did I say to you?" Yuri had her face in her hands.

"Just that you'd always wanted to compete in dressage—"

"Are you guys engaged?" Chris asked suddenly.

Both Victoria's and Yuri's heads turned to look at him. He raised an expectant eyebrow.

Victoria had only just met Phichit. He'd apparently been Yuri's best friend in college and they'd been in touch throughout the time Victoria had known her. This just happened to be their first extended meeting.

It wasn't how she'd expected it to go.

"Oh my god! Congratulations!"

"No! Not—Nope! Not engaged!" Yuri all but jumped across the table to pull the phone out of his hand. "Phichit! Give me the phone!"

"Victoria, save me!" He laughed, holding the phone out of harms way behind him.

Victoria sat there, a little stunned for all of a split second.

"We were waiting to tell people, but now is as good a time as any!" She brought herself to grin. "We will announce it after Yuri takes first—"

"Victoria!" Yuri hissed and Yulia made an unimpressed noise.

The whole table fell quiet. Of the group, there were only five dressage riders. Of those, there were only four actually competing. This shouldn't have been such a shock to everyone—

"Cute," JJ wasn't hard to pick out. Victoria had labeled him in her mind as one of the only straight male riders she'd ever met.

She was sure plenty existed. It was just one of those stereotypes, though.

"Victoria, we should go—" Yuri tugged her arm. "Come on."

The group disbanded with thankfully very little fuss. There were a few curious looks, but that was the worst of it. They all put cards and cash down and left the cafe to go their separate ways. Chris, Yuri noted, had wrapped an arm around Vika's waist. His fingers were tense where they squeezed her hip, pulling her into him while he whispered something into her ear that had her giggling.

"He's gay." Phichit's voice broke through Yuri's thoughts effectively. "Not that it stopped you making a move last year, from what I've heard."

Yuri could physically feel the blush flare up across her cheeks.

"Relax." He laughed at her, taking the time to wrap and arm around her shoulders. "They're just friends from what I understand, and Victoria doesn't have many."

Yuri frowned at him pointedly while Chris planted a kiss right on Victoria's temple and winked at them.

"Ok, hear me out," Phichit grinned with a finger thoughtfully to his lips. "How many times, Ms. Notorious-Heartbreaker, have you kissed me on a night out to keep away from other crazies?"

"Phichit!" Yuri hissed.

"Victoria's a lucky woman," He said, much louder, "You're a wonderful kisser, so passionate. I can only imagine as a lo—"

Victoria had turned over her inside shoulder, the one against Chris, to look at them with an expression of confusion. Chris, turned over his shoulder nearest Victoria, looked more than a little amused.

"Touché," He called, grin splitting his features. "But I can guarantee, at least, that Victoria is wonderful in the sh—"

"Chris!" Yuri had never seen the Russian so flustered in her life. She said something hurriedly in French which only served to make Chris outright laugh and reply.

"Harmless." Phichit assured, a playful smile across his lips. "Anyways, I'm sure your fiancée would love to see some of our college selfies—"

Yuri realized, in that exact moment, she might actually be in hell.

—-

It was the day before their first World's debut and Yuri would lie if Victoria didn't see right through her. She'd been anxious all day. First, watching Victoria speaking to other competitors she'd never met—except for Victoria and sometimes Yulia she didn't keep tabs on most dressage riders. Yuri felt...concerned that the other woman was realizing what a mistake she'd made.

Then warmups. They'd ridden against tradition. Normally Yuri took a break the day before to give Hika the time off. He liked to be a little frisky at shows and she didn't want him to waste all his energy being frisky in the morning.

Then they'd butchered practice. Victoria had shouted "bad practice, good show" at her about fifteen times before she'd dismounted. Normally, they'd leave it on a high note. Today, Yuri gave up after Hika refused to hold a counter canter for more than two strides without excessive bend.

Like excessive as in he was practically sideways bending out.

Victoria said he was just being lazy, and maybe he was, but Yuri couldn't help the little voice inside her that said Victoria could have done better. She couldn't help it anymore than Victoria could help staring out at the other horses and whispering improvements to herself. Equestrians loved to backseat ride, but Victoria deserved to. She was a literal world champion more than once with records on more than one horse.

They were back at the hotel before Yuri spoke again, having been almost entirely silent since her dismount.

Well...no. They'd spoken, just not about anything useful. Victoria had taken up idle chatter to try and distract her.

It wasn't working.

"Victoria, can I ask you something?" Yuri tilted her head to the side.

From where she was leaned against the windowsill, the Russian woman turned. Curiosity was bright in her eyes. Yuri almost felt bad about the question, almost. Except, today she'd seen firsthand how antsy Victoria had gotten watching other people riding. It was getting more and more obvious how desperate she was to get into the show ring again.

Yakov had brought it up in front of her before. It was absolutely rational for a trainer to still compete. This wasn't a sport where every trainer was retired.

"I was—I know Pobeda is retiring early." A tendency towards hyperextension injuries did that, she figured. "And I'd like it if you rode Hika next season. Instead of me."

Victoria blinked, expression entirely blank.

"He shouldn't be my horse anyways, I didn't deserve that gift of kindness. But, since he is, I can make that decision...right?"

Victoria's silence was making Yuri's heart race.

"I want that."

Never in her life did Yuri ever expect to see Victoria cry. In that moment, though, it was evident her trainer was trying to regather her wits. She wasn't crying yet, but the tears were there in her eyes threatening to spill.

Yuri opened her mouth.

"No!" Victoria snapped. "No. You do—you do not get to give him back to me like that—"

"I'm not giving him back." Yuri's eyes widened in surprise.

"This is what—this is what you wanted! You wanted to come back—"

"You miss it, too. I didn't mean to make you leave it—"

"You don't get to make that decision for me!" Victoria snapped.

Yuri hadn't even realized she'd approached the other end of the room. There she was, though, just an arm's distance away. She could lean forward just slightly and touch the other woman. Her hand reached hesitantly—like she was trying to take the reins of a spooked, loose horse—to brush the silvery strands that were sticking to tear-stained cheeks out of the way.

She almost laughed, almost, when Victoria's reaction was to jerk her head backwards. It was too horse-like to not be a little silly, but the sharp snap that followed wasn't.

"Don't touch me." Blue eyes were hard with overwhelming emotions and still swimming in tears. Yuri's heart fell.

Like lightning, Victoria grabbed her phone from the table and swiped a room key. Yuri was still staring at her empty place when the fire door slammed shut.

On the other side, Victoria slid down until she was a puddle on the floor. She had to get up, rationally she knew that. The whole hotel was like an ant hill of equestrians from around the world and rich children who wanted to come watch. She was recognizable enough in that community, unfortunately, because a world record or two did that to you.

She swiped her fingers under her eyes even though she knew she had no makeup to worry about. There was somewhere she'd have to go. Sitting out in the hallway in front of her room just looked...sad.

With a sniffle, Victoria stood again on shaking legs. The elevators were her first direction. From there...she couldn't exactly go ride. There wasn't anyone here for her to hop on and the indoor wasn't open to practice in overnight. It was almost dark out, too dangerous to ride in the only open practice rings.

Her finger tapped the button without thinking. She knew the room she was headed to only because of a text earlier alerting her to an old friend's arrival.

"Oh, mon cherie," Chris cooed as soon as he opened the door.

Victoria hadn't even realized she'd wrapped her arms around herself until she unraveled them to hug him. He guided them backwards to the bed—she was moderately surprised he only had one. Any semblance of control cracked the moment her face was buried in his shirt.

"Trouble in paradise?" He guessed, voice gentle. Victoria nodded her head weakly, choking on a sob. "Do you need water?"

Her grip tightened and Chris sighed, resigned to running a hand through her hair soothingly.

"Shhh, ok, I need you to breathe." She was thankful when he slipped into French. Her emotions were a little too overwhelming for her third language right now. As it were, she was finding it difficult to concentrate on Chris at all. "Does she know about—Victoria, you need to tell her."

His voice was stern.

"Doesn't she have anxiety?"

"C-c-crippling." Victoria agreed, mind reeling. Yuri did know...sort of. Victoria had made comments, so she must have some idea...

Chris stayed silent for a moment, thankfully. Had she even answered aloud? Had it been coherent? She wasn't even honestly sure what language she was responding in. It might have been gibberish, maybe that was why he was taking so long to respond.

Why would Yuri be so... Was she so ready to give it all up? Even after getting this far? She was already through her first half of the competition. Why would she just give up?

Maybe it wasn't the horse. Maybe it was what it meant to her. The gesture could've been too big or she felt it was too much of a commitment. She thought…the rings.

Victoria whimpered again.

This happened every time. She wasn't good enough. She didn't give enough or she gave too much. She was too emotionally invested in everything. Her ex said she took everything too seriously. She'd done that. She took this too seriously and Yuri was freaking out.

"Vika, are you listening?" Chris asked softly. "You have to breathe. Yuri needs to know about this, your feelings are just as valid as hers—"

"Can't." Victoria gasped out, eyes blurring with tears again.

"I'll have to call an ambulance if you can't breathe." He reminded. "You don't want that."

"C-c-can't!" Her heart started pounding impossibly faster. "C-c-Chris! P-p-papa."

"I'll call Yakov, then—"

Her hand, despite the fact she was stating to feel pins-and-needles, flew out to grip Chris' wrist with as much strength as she could muster. He couldn't call anyone, not right now. She needed to work through it first. If Yuri thought she was too much now, just wait until she heard about how upset she'd gotten over something _so stupid._

"I don't think Yuri thinks you're too much." Chris slowly returned his hand to stroke her hair. "And it's not stupid. You've had…"

Victoria already knew Chris' opinion of her previous partners. He hated most of them, and the ones he didn't hate before the breakup he hated now on principle.

"What about this?" He fiddled with the ring on the chain around her neck. It was where she'd previously kept her mother's before gifting it to Yuri in exchange. "Something so impulsive must mean something?"

"S-s-she p-promised." Victoria whimpered pitifully. "S-s-she wanted to make m-me proud and hap-py and sh-she promised I wouldn't have to…wouldn't have to deal with any of the…"

"Ok, ok." Chris pulled her into another hug. "How long have you guys been seeing each other."

Victoria wiggled a hand from his embrace and flashed a five and then a one.

"Six? _Months_? Victoria!"

She let out a soft whine.

"It's not, I thought you had been seeing each other much shorter than that." He admitted sheepishly. "I mean, we all saw that kiss on Instagram. I just assumed that was when—"

Victoria shook her head.

"You've taken it very slow with her, I'm actually impressed." She felt his lips on the crown of her head and snuggled closer. "Well, for your track record."

Unfortunately, that was true. She tended to rush headfirst into things. Relationships…especially…

"What did Yuri say that made you so upset?" He questioned suddenly.

Having settled down enough to at least breathe, Victoria took a few more minutes to collect her thoughts. Sharing them was harder, she didn't want to admit what had her so upset for fear that Chris might find fault with it. Obviously, he did, because he was starting to get an amused sort of look in his eyes.

"And you think she wants to break up?" His voice was calm, but Victoria's eyes narrowed in suspicion anyways.

"Yes."

"You don't think that _maybe_ she thinks this is part of her promise?" He had her stumped now. Why on earth would letting her ride Hika competitively be part of her promise? Hika was _her_ horse. Victoria had bought him _for_ Yuri so that she wouldn't ever have to give riding up again—or, at least not for a long time.

As if reading her puzzled expression, Chris sighed and continued.

"Maybe she thinks competing again will make you happier, Vika." He rubbed sticky tear-tracks off her cheeks with his thumbs. "Maybe that's all she's trying to do for you."

Yuri _had_ looked hurt when she'd snapped, surprised too. Maybe her first intention hadn't been to hurt…but…

"Honestly, Vika, if there's anything you need work on it's verbalization. Dressage teaches you all to be silent and read cues, but the real world doesn't work that way. _Relationships_ don't work that way. Yuri needs you to tell her what you want." His lips pressed a kiss to her forehead this time. "Do you want me to walk you back?"

Heel of her hand to her left eye, Victoria nodded. She hadn't cried like that since probably college, if she was being honest. It felt…relieving.

"Do you want to grab drinks first and toast to your finally coming to the dark side?" Victoria raised an eyebrow in question.

"I've been like this for a while, Chris." She mumbled, embarrassed.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's cute you think I didn't know you weren't from the start." He rolled his eyes. "I'm just glad you're finally living it without worrying. She's good for you."

Victoria nodded slowly. He was right… She was feeling a lot more confident in this relationship than she had in the past. Yuri knew a lot more about her, maybe that was part of it.

"Does she know about the rest of it?"

Victoria looked surprised.

"I don't want to assume things," Chris held up his hands with a grin, "And I'm not an expert on gender, but the crisis you talked about with your last boyfriend…I'm pretty sure you've got something going on. You don't have to tell me, but Yuri should probably—"

"She knows." Victoria chewed her lip, a blush dusted across her cheeks. "It's…yeah. She knows."

"And should I call you any differently?"

"I'll tell you more over drinks." Victoria promised him with a kiss on the cheek.


End file.
